looking forward in 2019

12:43pm

So many things to update on! I have two entries that I saved half-way done [maybe 3] because I didn’t have time to finish them but new things kept happening that I wanted to jot down. Even still I missed a bunch of stuff because the last couple of weeks were crazy. Work was insane, which is why I couldn’t finish entries, and I was too tired when I got home. Plus we had that guest at the house [who’s coming back tonight after being gone since Thursday] and I’ve been socializing with the new neighbours a lot too.

Perhaps I should bullet point this one just to get as much out there as possible before I get distracted again.

• Things with the neighbours are going so well that I’m still in shock. haha. I have such a hard time meeting people and getting along with them well enough to actually hang out. But every thing has been so easy with them. Like we just clicked together seamlessly. And every time I start to think I’m too boring, or I’m going over too often, they invite me back again. =)

• I’ve still been texting back and forth with their friend/kid’s godfather. It hasn’t really turned into full-blown conversations but that’s fine. It was a little frustrating at first because he’s not that great at texting back. [and maybe he reminds me a bit of tf in that sense and ya know I have all those lingering feelings on that....]

• I went over to their house on Superbowl Sunday after I got home from our other friend’s house. I’d been texting w/them and they all invited me over so why not? Hung out for a while. Brought my brisket leftovers home. Took a bunch of shots with el compa [who’d been on the phone outside when I got there and didn’t come in for at least a half hour+ after L went to find him]. Actually I think I was there for maybe like 2 hours and had 4 shots/2 beers. heh. Oops. It’s hard to say no to him every time he yells “shots” or walks up to me with a full glass. Twists my arm and all that. ;)

• L invited me back on Tuesday but I didn’t go. I did, however, go back on Friday - had a beer and some good laughs. And again on Sunday after el compa told me to stop by for some leftovers because he bbq’d. [Damn I’ve been there a lot lately! haha] Except it was super awkward because I showed up and he hardly spoke a word to me. I’m not even sure he said hi and I felt really weird b/c I was only there because he invited me and not the actual neighbours. He asked me like three or four times too because I wouldn’t commit to going over. So yeah, that was strange and I totally called him out on it after I left. I’m not good at in-person confrontation but I can sure dish it out via text. haha. I stayed a while any way playing w/the little dude and watching a movie they put on. I think I went over around 8:30 and left just after 10. I heard this dude’s truck leave the house within like 15 mins after I left and when he got home he texted me back. He straight up said that he thought he’d said hi, that he was being f*cking rude, and to please forgive him for his terrible manners. Now, I didn’t need all that but it did make me feel better. At least he could say he was sorry and didn’t try to make an excuse for being weird. I never could get out of him what was going on but that’s ok. I’m not sure we’ll really end up being friends or anything. It’s hard to tell with him. But I’m certainly sick of chasing people even if it is just to be friends.

• In non-neighbour news: I finally got in to see my new doc last Thursday. Long story short I’ve been waiting since like December for my appt that was supposed to happen next Monday. Except they called to say it was a holiday and had to cancel. I called back and they wanted to put me out ‘till the middle of March. Uhh…no that’s not good. I gave my best sob story [which is kinda real] and that same afternoon, they called to say they had a cancellation and could fit me in the next day at 1pm. I’ll make it work! Things were insane at work but it happened that that day there were no appts scheduled for the middle of the afternoon. So I left just before noon, drove the 45 mins to the appt, ended up at the wrong address b/c they didn’t tell me it changed, found my way down the street, saw the doc, scheduled follow ups, picked up prescriptions, and made it back before 3pm. I was moving quick and glad the appt went quickly too!

• New doc was ok. A little pushy but most are. Friendly. Not that great at eye contact which I guess makes her more human. haha. Had clearly read my file. Looked me over and wants to call it psoriatic arthritis, which I still do not agree with but whatever. They want to put a name on it so they can move on to treating. I did like that she agreed I needed to get off the prednisone. I’m definitely on board. It’s why I went to her. She was trying to push the biologics [ie: humira/Enbrel/etc] but I told her that I would like to try something else first. I’m open to it if I don’t see results but I don’t want to start there. Those things freak me out the way they can kill your immune system and my old doc had patients that even got cancer. No thanks!

• So the new plan is to stay on prednisone for now and add methotrexate. It’s actually a chemotherapy drug but used in smaller doses for autoimmune diseases. It’s the same combo I took back in 07-08 and had really great results. No side effects that I remember. So we’ll start there. Only difference being last time I took it in pill form and she doesn’t want to mess with that. This time I’ll be giving myself injections at home!! I thought I’d have to go to the office a lot, which did not sound like fun, but nope she pulled out some needles and demonstrated how I’d do it on my own. That was nuts! I’m not sure how I feel about shoving a needle into my thigh but I’ll let you know after the 1st round. hah.

• My insurance hasn’t approved it so I don’t even know how it’ll all work. I’m going to have to relearn everything because I won’t remember by the time I actually have it in my hands. Basically though I’ll fill these little needles, and stick it into my upper thigh. It’ll only be once a week and I’ll switch between legs each week. I straight up asked her how bad I could f*ck it up [without using the f-word because I’m a lady haha] and she said it would be hard to get it wrong. That there’s no bone to hit, all the major arteries run underneath my leg, and the only thing might be some small veins that could bruise if I stick the needle through them. That seems fine enough. I’m not too worried about it.

• Oh and she did inject each knee with cortisone while I was there. I super hesitated on that but let her do it anyway. The swelling has gone down, but now it’s clicking and popping as I walk. To the point where on Sunday I was crossing the office and my knee locked up. I couldn’t move it at all. That was not a fun feeling! I’m almost wondering if maybe now that the fluid/swelling has gone down [a little] things are rubbing together inside my knees. I’d almost rather have the swelling but I get that that does more harm throughout my body long term. It just sucks to not know whether your knee is going to buckle underneath you at any given moment. That’s frustrating for sure. But we’ll see how things go. It’s at least better than it was Sunday!

• Work is finally starting to normalize a bit. I actually got out at 6 last night and it shouldn’t be much longer tonight. This is fine with me. I need to get back on a regular schedule so my brain can start to settle down again.

• I’m still torturing myself over the TF thing. I’m trying so very hard to learn to stop that but it’s slow going. I need time and space and I know I’ll get there soon.

• I am very happy to have so many distractions these days. Besides the crazy at work that keeps my mind occupied. I’m also lucky to have my new neighbours to hang out and joke with. Plus I’m apparently quite popular via text these days. haha. I’ve spent my evenings exchanging messages with the client, CK, and el compa lately. Sometimes also my brother or Tony mixed in there. And L and I have a text mancala game going long term which I’m currently ahead in [2-1-1]

• Times are good. Life is going well. I can’t complain too much. I’m mentally exhausted but I am so looking forward to planning out all my off season vacations. So far on the list is Cancun and very possibly Alaska. It’s something to look forward to. =)

• Now I’m home and I’m going to relax with some TV watching. Glad to at least get through a whole one of these. hah.

rose.
8:21pm