So I was up late as heck and passed the point of no return (that time in the late night/early morning where you won’t be able to sleep, no matter how hard you try…) so I decided to take a loooong trip down memory lane. I delved into my old text messages and I experienced almost every emotion possible in the span of 30 minutes. I felt embarrassed when I read the texts I sent my high school crush when I was 16. I felt hopeless when I read the messages sent between myself and a friend who had attempted to commit suicide twice. I felt nostalgic when I read the “Happy Birthday!” texts from someone who I thought was going to be a friend forever. I went through heartbreak all over again when I read the proclamations of love that my partner and I exchanged before real life decided to be a thing.
It’s weird, but I think I am finally in that place in my life to say that I am thankful for all these people that have come in and out of my life and for all the experiences I shared with them, both positive and negative. I have come a long way from who I used to be, even just a few months ago. I am extremely grateful for the lessons that life has taught me.
Though I have my fair share of negative experiences in my short life time, I am glad that they helped me become who I am today. After I was sexually assaulted and victim blamed by someone I called my best friend, I learned that I am not at fault for the bad things that happen to me. After years of suffering through anxiety and depression I learned that it is okay to not be okay, and those who truly matter in your life will stick around to help you through that. From a failed relationship that I clung onto so dearly, I learned that it is important to take responsibility for your actions, especially when you hurt someone.
For all those who continue to support me in my journey, thank you. I am never one to say cheesy things in real life, but I should really break that bad habit. I just want to say thank you to all those people who constantly have my back and push me to be the best that I can be.
For those who will enter my life in the future: do not mistake being a good friend as someone who loves unconditionally. A good friend is someone who will challenge you when you are wrong and call you out for being an asshole.
tl;dr I am thankful for all the people/experiences in life, good and bad
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