January 21st in Posso's Prompts

What’s a movie or television show you have not yet seen that everyone gives you a hard time for not seeing?

This is why I have refused for 21 years to ever watch the movie Titanic.

I was 12 years old. Just finding out the reasons why my penis would change sizes when I would watch the cheerleaders shake their pompoms (or pom-poms or pompons or pom-pons as I’ve heard them all and have no clue if there’s any right way to spell that godforsaken shitbag word) at our pep rallies for our tremendously subpar high school basketball team. The big talk was of this stupid movie about a ship hitting an iceberg and blah blah everyone knows the fucking story. I had this crush on a girl for a long time. Like, we’re talking one of those crushes that they would revisit on a television show at least like a half dozen times in a multi season arc. I didn’t know exactly why but this girl had my heart at 12. I shared my desserts with her at lunch - a prime fat kid accomplishment - you always ate all of the desserts alone.
One day sitting in the lunchroom, we were talking and she brought up going to see Titanic. My sneaky, charming, suave mind already knew I was going to ask her if she wanted to go (as friends, cause, duh) and had actually trudged up the allowance money and walked to the movie theater box office one day after school (in the dead of winter, like an idiot, as always) and bought two tickets.
“I really can’t wait to see this movie. It looks so good!” She was all worked up.
“Would that be something you might want to like, go see, maybe with me? Just, you know, like as good friends would or something?” I stammered out, with the shaky confidence only fellow fat kids would know.
“Actually, I’m going with my boyfriend.” she claimed with strength.
“But, uh, I didn’t know you had a boyfriend. I bought an extra ticket in case you want to go or something,” I can remember my mouth was turning into mush.
“I just don’t want to be your boyfriend. I don’t think this is a movie friends see together.”

Friendzoned? At 12? FUCK. I got used to that very quickly.

I have hated James Cameron ever since, tolerated some of his other movies (except for Avatar, cause a girl blew me off for that one too and I’m a petty little bitch) and to this day will not see Titanic. Fuck Leo. I hate Celine Dion for no rational reason other than she sang “My Heart Will Go On” and every time I heard that song on the radio in gym class, I’d kick the ball into the bleachers only to have it rebound off and careen into my thick fat skull. I even know quotes from the movie and I hate that I know them. (amazingly astounding wonderful girl…woman has definitely been used unabashedly in love notes) When it came to sing that fucking song in choir I faked sick and sat on the shitter for 45 minutes until my teacher came in looking for me. My 12 year old self made, what he now understands at 33, a vow to never watch that movie until the girl he marries is found. I have been close and have even booted up the DVD once with someone until I honestly told her I didn’t want to marry her. She chased me down her apartment complex with a butcher knife.

We’ll save that one for a different day.

Give me one solid reason that I have to see this movie, and watch it the whole way through with me and I’ll do it. I’ll stop the hate. It’s been 21 years. My hatred for Titanic is old enough to legally take shots with me.