Eyes Forward in 2019

Perry is borrowing my car- and some money-tomorrow. Dropped the car off down there tonite. It’s unreal the situation he got himself in with Cat. I feel bad for him as far as the Parkinson’s goes, but he created the rest of the shit heap of a mess he’s in financially. I know I’m never going to see that money again- he owes my parents and a couple of other family members still. But, I always think of my grandfather, and what he would do in any given situation. And he would help- always. So, I just say a little prayer that he doesn’t wreck my car and returns it in one piece. Until the next time he needs it…

Talked with Sue a little tonite. Looks like we are going to St. Augustine for a few days when I go down there in March. I really enjoyed our stay there a few years ago, and there’s some things that we didn’t see and do the last time- so that will be good. We may also head down to the Keys as well. Plantation Key possibly- we’ll figure that out as the time draws nearer. It’s going to be cool being down there twice this Spring- I’m really looking forward to bringing Shey with me in April. She’s going to be so surprised that we rented a room on the beach for a few days. I’m not sure if I will continue to go down there each year after this- I’d like to start exploring different parts of the country a bit. Even if that means I have to vacation and travel solo. That’s the way it is, so I may as well accept it and look at it as an adventure and challenge. I know Sue really looks forward to me coming each Spring, but we’ll see- I’m feeling an itch to see some new sights.

I need an outlet for my intensity. My brain needs something to gnaw on constantly. And when I lock onto something, it’s like I have the jaws of Death on the thing. I’m both in a rut and getting restless. I need to start taking some leaps of faith. It’s time I started trusting myself again, and not see the past in every potential new change. What is and what can be- not what was. Living by rear-view mirror is so debilitating. I need to start looking out the windshield again.