A day full of thoughts in Diary

For some reason when I came back home I felt an urge message my ex. It is almost 9 months since I broke up with her. I know I still cant get over her completely and should not message her but I really want to know how well she is doing. Messaged her and she still replied in very friendly manner. In some parts of the conversation I really dont know how should I reply her as I am scared that it will make me sounds like some freak. Especially when she messaged that she is sick from the harsh weather. Really dont know if I should message in a very caring manner or more of a cool and cold manner. But somehow I got through it and end the conversation early. How much more time I need to get over her…