Christmas is a time of magic. To me, its the one time of year that anything can happen, especially if you just believe. And yes, I know that is corny enough to come straight out of a Disney movie, but that’s how I was raised. My mom held a special place in her heart for Christmas. In my house, Santa is real and always will be.
I still remember when my brother tried to tell my that Santa wasn’t real. My brother had just gotten a book on the facts about dragons, and was obsessed with it. I wanted to play with him, but he was to interested in his book to pay any attention to his little sister. Frustrated, I yelled “You know dragons aren’t even real! Why your wasting your time reading that?”
Naturally, he got mad and responded by saying, “You don’t know what your talking about. You still think Santa Clause is real.”
Stunned and in disbelief, I ran downstairs to my mom and asked her if what my brother said was true. My mom, who was not about to let me be fooled by my brother, immediately went on damage control. She told me how Santa was in fact real, but not everything I thought about him was true. A long, long time ago when there were less children in the world, Santa was able to fly around on his sleigh and reach every boy and girl. However, now that there are so many more people, Santa needed some help. Occasionally, Santa would outsource his work to the parents of the good girls and boys. He would ask them to wrap and deliver the presents to ensure every child was touched by the magic of Christmas. I loved my mom for this story, but of course I did not believe her forever.
However due to my mom, Christmas continued to be a special time even as I grew up. Every year I aim to get the perfect presents for the people I love, never expensive but always thoughtful. And every year I love to spend time with my family and spread the Christmas cheer. However, if I am being completely honest, this year I am not looking forward to Christmas.
I feel like everything is wrong, and everyone in my life is in a funk. I know I am, with this being the first Christmas I will be spending alone in five years. I miss the Christmases I had before, and I know this year will never live up to the one in the past. To be honest, I miss my ex and the small little traditions, I didn’t even realize we had started. Change can be great and is the only way for growth. But sometimes that change leaves behind the longing for a past that will never be again. I know I need to let go of the past, stop stressing about the future, and just live in the moment, but tonight, I miss the Christmas magic.
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