Talking in Book Five: Working Through the Maze 2018
- Dec. 4, 2018, 7:54 p.m.
- |
- Public
UFDA!
Today… was a busy, hectic, crazy day. Made worse by my half day yesterday.
Don’t get me wrong, the half day yesterday was good! I was in terrible pain, I went home, my Wife showed me deep and legitimate concern, and I soaked and rested feeling worlds better. That was good.
But this morning was all hearings and then this afternoon, while I’m trying to file paperwork… it is just phone calls and e-mails and emergencies everywhere.
I had to start THREE new juvenile cases.... Juvenile Cases are incredibly complicated to start. It requires reporting on the child, the parents, the incident, the history, the DHS case… in short… one detailed Child case can take at least an hour of paperwork. So… at 4:30 was the first time I stopped “racing” in the office. Which meant it was time to go home?
And at home have Wife greet me by telling me about things I needed to do. As my cell phone no longer allows me to access a shit ton of stuff (again, what the fuck is going on?!) and as my laptop literally just completely stops working EVERY FIVE MINUTES a lot of Wife’s honey-do list was going to just piss me off. Especially since I had my own list of things I need to do. Like… shopping for Christmas Presents, scheduling repairmen and installers, calling my parents since my dad had surgery today. I’M SORRY THAT I DON’T WANT TO DROP EVERYTHING TO CALL THE CABLE COMPANY TO FIND OUT WHY THEY SENT ME A BILL FOR LAST MONTH?!
And… yeah, a lot of my frustration and anger comes from (1) the fact that I had almost no down time today and (2) simply writing this GOD FORSAKEN sentence has taken approximately 3 minutes and four seconds on this clunking, staccato piece of shit! And trying to load websites? Fucking forget about it! Ten minutes and still a shitty little “wait or kill page” box. THIS, dear friends, is the difference to me between Comfort and Wealth. Presently, Wife and are I comfortable. House, food, water, transportation, etc. WEALTHY would mean.... I could buy a new wardrobe for whatever size I was that year… I could just replace all my shitty laptops with brand new units whenever a unit was being a bitch… COMFORT is having enough to meet your needs while also providing financial buffer to provide for things you want. WEALTH is having enough to purchase whatever you want whenever you want it.
Right now? I just want to read some things, relax, and maybe crank it. Yeah, I said it. Because that is something else. A little physical comfort and tenderness can go a long way for someone’s psyche. But I’m trying to remain patient, kind; give us a chance. But the patience of my heart and the patience of my head and libido are… certainly different things.
Always Laughing ⋅ December 04, 2018
Why didn't she call about the cable, she isn't working right?
Park Row Fallout Always Laughing ⋅ December 05, 2018
She is not working. What it boils down to at the end of the day is what I've been running into with her too often. Her social anxieties pop up and she wants me to be the go between. Like, her Practicality says "This should happen" but her social anxieties say, "But can someone else do it?" We both hate talking on the phone but she sees my status as Lawyer as someone who uses the phone often, so she would prefer I do all Business-House phone calls. Meanwhile... I am on the phone already and usually dealing with hysterical Drama LLamas so I'd prefer not to handle every single house phone call. Ultimately, I exploded a little and she agreed that she would make the phone call.
Always Laughing Park Row Fallout ⋅ December 05, 2018
I do understand the anxiety i have it, but we all need to face those at some point. God forbid what if she were alone.
Park Row Fallout Always Laughing ⋅ December 05, 2018
I have often thought that of my friends! I appreciate that so many have anxiety about "being difficult." I (secretly) have that too! One of my best example stories is an early one: Arcades where machines ate our money. My friends would bitch and moan about the machine taking the money but wouldn't report the issue to get a refund. I certainly didn't want to be the difficult one, and approaching a strange adult as a 9 year old filled me with anxiety... but my sense of... justice, I guess... demanded that we be recompensed for the failure of the machine. So I was always selected to report machine error and money eaten. It seems that a lot of my social position has been that to various degrees ever since.
Always Laughing Park Row Fallout ⋅ December 06, 2018
Same