Someone - well, a series of someones - asked for a Joshua update.
Ask, and ye shall receive. I guess I'm a writing fool.
Joshua. Joshua, Joshua, Joshua.
He's really a sweet kid. He pushes buttons and he knows when he's naughty. He has a smile that I sometimes cannot stand. There's that Bulgarian gleam in his eye (it's the Bulgarian Devil in him) and then he's off and misbehaving.
If I correct him, I get the small mouthed, small eyes "look" and an approximated "Sorry, Mommy."
Which kind of comes out as "ah-ee Mommy."
He still loves to throw, still loves to push things.
He's an emotional wreck sometimes too. Highly volatile emotionally. He is either giggling or (usually) crying. Little things make him cry.
He talks a lot and he tries to say a LOT. He's non stop talking in the car, which makes me roll my eyes when I think, "Oh God, WHY did I want him to start talking?"
He's still a tiny peanut and he still is short; roughly 5% on the growth chart for each, but at least he remains ON the growth chart.
He eats most anything we give him.
Did I mention he's a little willful shit sometimes?
He attends a special needs preschool and why I titled this entry as "unsatisfied" is because, well, I AM.
I am not pleased with the fact that my nearly four and a half year old son cannot routinely identify his letters and numbers.
I am unsatisfied with the fact that he cannot master holding scissors or utilize a more mature grasp with a crayon.
I am irate that his latest progress note discussed him using his right hand, when he appears to use only his left at home.
I am frustrated when I work with him to see him potentially "switching letters" (ie, identifying a lower case "b" as a "d", and so on)
I am annoyed with myself for not making follow up appointments for neuro and vision.
(Super Mom, right? BWA HA HA HA HA HA!)
I am furious that my son's potential is apparently being underestimated or underutilized. I am beyond furious that he isn't getting enough speech therapy and I cannot decide where he belongs (meaning, what school program he belongs in) because this bullshit "push in" model for speech won't work for a child with a CLEAR articulation disorder.
(As I'm typing this, he just came over and hugged my knee. Because he's like that.)
I feel sad that Chelsea doesn't really connect with him and he seems to want a playmate. Chelsea's a bad playmate.
When I feel this way, then I get frustrated and then I make people do things.
See, when I'm happy and my son is doing well, then I leave everyone alone. None of these professionals will ever hear from me when things are well.
But they aren't.
The classroom he's in is understaffed and too full of too many special needs children. (They are not exceeding ratios but you probably get what I mean).
My son is worth more than being warehoused with other special need children. I realize he may not be ready for mainstream school right now but they can do better. And you can bet your ass that they WILL do better.
I've requested an IEP meeting. I've requested new evaluations - MEANINGFUL ONES THIS TIME. I have a string tied around my finger to get appointments for neuro and speech. I have made my lengthy list of complaints and concerns known to the IEP team and I have requested to observe him in the classroom.
And there will be more.
DO YOUR JOB AND I WON'T BOTHER YOU. Nobody wants to do their job. I'm so tired of making people do their jobs.
I would post a picture of him here but I have no clue how to do that.
Suffice to say, he's a great kid. He remains a great kid. He's been home just over a year. It's hard to imagine a time when he WASN'T here.
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