I think there is a good chance I will spend the rest of my life alone. Or maybe I am simply being a pessimist. I’ve been in some serious relationships lasting 7+ years. They simply did not work out for one reason or another.
I’ve never met someone that meshed really well. I always made concessions. I compromised until nothing was left of what I wanted. I know I am not an easy person to get close to. It doesn’t help that I am…complicated.
I think a great deal about life in general. Huge thoughts about my impact in the world, and my own mortality. Late at night, I often find myself lamenting what I don’t have. Truth be told; I spend most of my days focusing on moving forward and finding happiness in small things. Late at night when insomnia strikes is the only time that I truly dwell in these thoughts.
I can be morbid but I’m always upbeat. I dress in all black and wear cat ear head bands, but I am in my 30’s. I love anime and cartoons, but I’m not a huge fan of comedy. I love horror movies but I don’t like romance movies. I play video games, read books, write, draw, craft, photo editing, and make music.
Borderline weeaboo. Big nerd. Super weird. Eccentric, eclectic pagan. Above all, very lonely these days. I can’t lie and say I have no images in my head or secret desires. I certainly do, but I am also aware that life rarely gives you those things you desire. You have to make some concessions, you have to be open minded to accept the good things that come your way rather than miss them looking for something else.
That doesn’t mean I can’t have my fantasies though. I’ve been with my fair share of gents, and while I am open to other ladies I’ve never found any that struck my fancy. The few who were of interest to me, had no interest in me. Lol.
My fantasy type though is taller than me, calm, quiet, dark hair. Mysterious at first. The soft spoken sadist. Open minded. A pagan like myself. A goth nerd with a dominant streak. Someone that can geek out over my hobbies and who can show me theirs.
Someone that doesn’t scare easily. Someone that can be just as intense as me. Discreet but shameless. I suppose I want someone more similar to me than different.
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