It’s always been a while, right? I basically only come here when shit goes wrong. Sorry. I just feel like writing about the daily dolldrums would be non-productive for all parties.
It’s coming up to exams, well, it IS exams but mine isn’t until next week. And boy has the depression reared its head up. I sleep all day and don’t shower for a week. I get annoyed because the kids don’t think to shower themselves unless I specifically tell them and schedule a time. Or eat. Storey barely eats. I end up cooking mountains of hashbrowns so that the smell entices her. Both kids are addicted to devices and I enable them because I need to do uni or be left alone.
I bought a car. An upgrade from the subaru liberty. Which in hindsight is a really good car for its age. I was t-boned a few months ago and it needed body work before I could sell it, so I bought an x-trail and Ian helped me. But then, the X-trail arrived with a huge chip in the windscreen (As it had to be driven 2 hours to get to me) and just as I was asking them to pay for that because if it was a phone or a tv being delivered I’d expect their insurance to cover delivery damage… the clutch fucking dies.
Now I forked out for extra warranty but fuck me, I don’t think it covers a worn out clutch a week after purchase even if it passed safety checks and seemed fine before it sold.
So I drop the X-Trail off to be assessed, and the next day as I go to drive the subaru to see Ian two hours away, the alternator starts to die.
So I have two cars, no money, and I can’t go anywhere.
I haven’t finished an assessment for Biomed, and lied about it.
I haven’t finished the unit content for the same unit, and have a week to do so.
Blair has stopped talking about wanting to die, which I thought was positive, no, turns out she has been writing it in her diary instead. So no longer verbally asking for help.
We got some emergency help for her through school and we’re getting a referral for a new psych, but there are only three child psychologists in the area and waiting lists are phenomenal. Last time she was self-harming and they wanted her to wait six months. An adult would have been hospitalised and they expect a child to wait?! what the fuck?!
oh and there’s this thing that I should do:
I’ve started to admit I’m an alcoholic.
And tell people. Because according to Russel Brand when I download his audiobook ‘Recovery’ and had to stop listening because it related so closely to my own situation and I was only on step 3 myself. I suppose I’m slowly coming to grips with my alcoholism, admitting it and owning it.
-SP
Loading comments...