Haven’t really felt like writing the past few days. Here’s a partial list of the stuff that’s been going on lately…
Had a Birthday: My birthday was on Friday and it was very uneventful. I flew under the radar most of the day...in fact, I was SO far under the radar that my Scottish sweetheart *forgot* to wish me a happy birthday until around noon my time, which was 6pm his time. No biggie, truly. I honestly didn’t want to make a big deal out of my day. But maybe deep down I did? I don’t know. It was a weird birthday for sure because I don’t feel much like celebrating these days. I’m worried about what the future holds. Can’t really justify celebrating.
The Scot: With the exception of his ‘forgetfulness’ on Friday, he’s amazing. I mean, he says all the right things and he takes up a LOT of my mental energy. I can’t wait to meet him. I told you that I pushed out our meeting date, right? This is because of my “probation” at work. I can’t afford to take any personal time off (except for any possible interviews, etc). Anyway, we’ve moved our meet-and-greet to New Year’s Eve. Still in NYC. We have this funny little fantasy scenario all lined up...we will meet at Grand Central Station. Again, it’s one of those things where I’ll believe it when it see it, but at the same time it’s a delicious fantasy and I would regret not seeing this to...something. I don’t know what yet. But there’s absolutely something there and I know it. Truly, if nothing else, we simply HAVE to meet.
Other Dates: As you know, I have a difficult time focusing on more than one person at a time, so The Scot nearly has my undivided attention. *However*, I also know that I’d be an absolute FOOL to close every single one of my other options. I peek at Tinder from time to time and the week before last, someone I’d gone out with before popped back in and asked for another meeting. We met for coffee last Sunday and had an absolute WONDERFUL talk...just like we’d had about a year and a half ago. We talked from the get-go and didn’t let a breath go by between us. We laughed, we related, we talked fairly deeply. We said we should do it again.
And then nothing.
Work: 6 weeks and counting. Boss asked me to find training and I attended a fairly expensive training class in Intermediate Excel last week. I actually found it to be a PERFECT class (it was an offsite virtual class so it was just me in an office all-day working practically one-on-one with an instructor). As someone who has self-taught myeself Excel because I never had to use it in my past work lives, I had many a-ha moments during this 8-hour class. I’m happy that the company is spending resources on me - even if they don’t plan to keep me. And then, Boss told me to book a trip so I can do more development in early December. So again, a few days’ business trip on the company dime? Why would they want me to do this if they are not keeping me on? I don’t understand. I think I wrote earlier that he was even talking with me about taking a trip to China before December to fit in a good chunk of development. What does this all mean?
I have a meeting with Boss later today. Wonder what I’ll find out?
Job Search: I’m ashamed to say that I’m half-heartedly applying for jobs and starting to get rejection emails (well, I only got one, but…). I know it’s because I’m half-assing it. I REALLY need to step up my game. Why is this happening with me? I *know* better. And I’m also thinking about Best Bud who is now unemployed and doing this. UGH. I’m lucky in that I still have a job for the next few weeks, but what after THAT??!
Miscellaneous: Attended the sweet wedding of a woman I used to work with at Giant Corporation years and years ago. After many years of marriage to a pretty cool guy, my friend figured out that things were not right and she realized that she was attracted to women. Flash forward, and she married her person on Saturday. Loved seeing this ceremony and catching up with so many old co-workers. It was the first time I’d seen a lot of them since I had that horrible experience at Giant Corp (almost) 10 years ago. It was VERY awkward to find out that a girl who was a little bit of a frienemy actually HAS my old job! Like, it was eye-opening in that I did that 10 years ago...I’ve moved on. A little bit of that was me thinking...good riddance. A little bit of me wanted to network, but I realized quite quickly that everyone there was looking to get out of their current situation.
I’ll have lots more to share soon. As I always do, I plan to write daily in November for the NoJoMo. I always look forward to that…so sorry this entry was super boring. Just need some more exciting things to happen.
Watch this space!
xox,
GS
Loading comments...