Yes, I’m interrupting my continuing story of my September trip again - now nearly a month has gone by! But life keeps happening, and here’s something that happened over the weekend. I never want to forget to write these RADs because sometimes something happens and I want to read about how I was feeling at the time - and/or what actually happened! In fact, recently - VERY recently - a guy I dated years ago has found himself in a #metoo situation that’s EXTREMELY public…as in, highlighted in every news outlet in this city! Anyway, RADs are important and here’s another one…
Name: OT (for Outta Towner)
Introduction Platform: Unofficially, Tinder. The reason I say “unofficially” is that we’d matched on Tinder maybe 3 years ago and never really communicated but somehow got on each other’s IGs. He’s probably the most loyal ‘follower’ I have - liking every single one of my posts and sometimes commenting, etc. So, I guess officially our introduction platform would be Instagram because he reached out to me in a direct message on IG to let me know he was in town over the weekend. He doesn’t live closeby. He lives nearly 1000 miles from me and was in town to visit his parents (which is how we connected on Tinder in the first place). Make sense?
Age: 51
Relationship Status: Divorced around 7 years. His ex-wife passed away about 2 weeks ago.
3 kids, ranging from 16 to 22
Job: Some kind of fairly secret job for the government. He’s retired from the Army and now does civilian work for the military on a secret basis so he couldn’t really tell me.
Lives: in a city ~1000 miles away
Length of Date: 4 hours
We Did: So, this was kind of unofficially a date. After OT sent me the message on IG, he’d also said that he was visiting his parents with his 16-y/o son and that he really didn’t have too much time to even meet, I told him that I was going to be attending a concert in the part of town where he was staying and just suggested that if his time frees up, maybe we should just have a quick hello! So we did! Concert got over around 11PM and everyone in his household was about to go to bed, so he stole away (not secretly, he told his family he’d be back soon) and took Uber to an entertainment district next to where I was attending a concert. After the concert, I walked over and met him there.
He Looked: Shorter than his photos make him appear, but that’s no real biggie because he’s very nice looking and VERY fit. He was wearing jeans and a nice sport shirt. I don’t remember the shoes because I was too busy looking into his eyes. Nice, well-groomed gray beard and a full head of gray hair. Sexy.
I Looked: Like a concert-goer. I had on skinny camo jeans with sequin layered tank top(s) and cute chunky heels. Kind of a sassy outfit, but still very casual.
Convo: All about how long we’ve known each other and have kept up with each other even though we don’t KNOW each other. He told me about his family and being in the service and how he likes living where he does but that his parents want him to move closer now that his kids’ mother has passed away. Then we talked about serendipity and how amazing it is that we were both here at the same time and…fate…and all that stuff. I believe he was trying to make this into a magical scenario, and I was just so dog tired that I couldn’t get into it as much as he was. He also leaned over and kissed me a couple of times, which was off-putting to me. Don’t get me wrong, I liked him…but I wasn’t ready for a kiss when he leaned in…,multiple times.
High Point: Exciting to meet this guy. His IG is fascinating. He’s an unbelievable snowboarder and takes these incredible videos. He talented and brilliant…and single. He’s got a great way with words - he’s charming.
Low Point: When he tried to lay on the charm too thick. It was the end of the night and the venue was closing so we got kicked out. I was ready to go home and still needed to get a Lyft/Uber back to my work friend’s house (where I’d parked earlier), which was 20 minutes away and then drive home 30 more minutes. OT suggested he ride with me in the Lyft and then ride with me in my car back to his family’s house so I could drop him off. I really didn’t like that idea - I really just wanted to go home at that point, but logically and geographically it was all on my way anyway, so I said okay. Once in the Lyft, OT decided to get amorous in the back seat with me (it was an SUV), unbuckling his seatbelt and scooting allll the way over to me to where he was pushed against me. He took my hand to hold it and I could tell he wanted to make out. I instantly recoiled and just whispered to him, “too much”. He asked, “too much???” and I just kept whispering, “too much…too much…..too much” and he stopped holding my hand but didn’t move away.
How It Ended: We finally made it to my friend’s house and my car was parked out front. We both got in my car and I started the 20 minute drive to his family’s house in silence. I knew he wasn’t an axe murderer, but how could I be positively sure???! Eventually we started talking again and I was not scared…just annoyed at that point. Made it to his house and he stalled getting out. I’m sure he was wondering if he’d get a kiss out of me. He kept asking me if I wanted him to go, and I said yes each time, though I also hesitated each time, not really knowing what to say or do. AWKWARD. He finally got out and I drove home. Got home well after 3am and fell into bed.
Chances Are: No. Not unless he moves here and maybe not until after at least 3 more years goes by.
Date Rating: C-. I truly enjoyed meeting him and was excited to do so, but it was a bummer that it got really weird in the end.
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