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Depression ickiness in 2018

  • Oct. 6, 2018, 2:33 a.m.
  • |
  • Public

Now Playing: Supernanny

I am so tired. We got up early today to run errands. We went to Torrid so I could get new bras (my other ones are way too big), DH surprised me with some new perfume from Bath and Body Works, then Savers, then Supercuts for DH, then GNC, then Aldi, then Walmart, then FiL’s house.

We finally tackled The Pile(TM) of laundry that has been accumulating in our room for ages. It was all clean but not folded. I cooked dinner and we sat in the office for a bit and now I’m in bed with my laptop.

Tomorrow is the Doctor Who wedding. It’s gonna be me and DH sitting with two people neither of us has ever met. I’m a little anxious but hopefully, everything will be fine.

I’m grumpy because I’ve gained 2lbs the past couple of days. I know it’s just water weight but UGH is it discouraging. It doesn’t help that I’m doing my normal PMS cramping and headache and sore boobs. Glow said I was supposed to start my period today so I’m technically one day late but I took a test and it was negative. So I’m grumpy about AF coming and I’m tired and just wah. I’m feeling really down on myself about feeling fat (I’ve lost 70lbs! Why am I still not good enough?), no chance of pregnancy this month, mental health blah.

Gonna do some surveys I think. I don’t want to go to sleep yet.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

A) What does the last text you sent say? And to whom? “Can you take out the trash in a bit please? It’s gross.” to DH.

B) What does the last text you received say? And from whom? “Okay” from DH

C) What time do you wake up most mornings?
9/930 unless I have work really early.

D) Are you afraid of walking alone at night?
Yes. If I have to, I put my keys between my fingers.

E) What do you do to relax at the end of a stressful day?
Sleep or take a bath.

F) Where did your last kiss take place and with whom?
DH and in the kitchen.

G) Do/did you get into trouble a lot at school?
Never.

H) Do you enjoy your job? If unemployed, are you content being so?
I do enjoy my job. I feel undervalued sometimes but I’m usually happy.

I) Do you often pick up on double entendres and innuendos?
I put them there.

J) Have you ever been offered drugs but declined?
A guy I worked with offered to let me smoke with him in his car but I said no.

K) Have you ever met someone who has completely altered your way of thinking?
No. I’m stubborn.

L) Have you ever been offered drugs and accepted?
Yes.

M) Tell us something weird that turns you on.
Someone kissing my wrists.

N) When did someone last admit romantic or sexual feelings for you? Was the feeling mutual?
A couple of years ago and it was not. I was already taken.

O) What is something you have given a lot of thought to lately?
What kind of mother I want to be.

P) When did you last swallow your beliefs to avoid an argument or confrontation?
I don’t argue with Mama Bear about politics I just agree with whatever she says when she rants.

Q) Do you usually initiate hugs?
No.

R) Are you a very affectionate person?
Yes.

S) Can you roll your own cigarettes?
No.

T) What are you looking forward to?
Christmas. Or pumpkin carving next weekend.

U) Do you have any tattoos. Do you want any/more?
I have two. I want at least four more.

V) Are you mentally strong?
I don’t know.

W) Are you physically strong?
No.

X) Do you think you’re a good person?
I like to think so.

Y) Name one thing you wish you could change about your life right now.
I’d either be thinner or pregnant.

Z) What do you usually eat for breakfast?
Leftovers or eggs or a protein bar.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

  1. tell me the truth, what made you start liking the person you like right now?
    He was nice to me.

  2. what on your body is hurting or bothering you?
    My lower back/siatica and my neck/right shoulder.

  3. what was your last thought before going to bed last night? “My back hurts.”

  4. what are you listening to?
    Supernanny.

  5. what’s something you’re not looking forward to?
    DH’s legal battle.

  6. where do you think your best friend(s) is right now?
    One’s in VA somewhere, one is in Australia somewhere, and one is in the next room playing Mass Effect.

  7. have you kissed anybody in the last five days?
    My husband and my nanny kids on the forehead.

  8. sex on the first date?
    No.

  9. kiss on the first date?
    Maybe, if there’s chemistry.

  10. is there one person you want to be with right now?
    Does my mom count?

  11. are you seriously happy with where you are in life?
    I’m feeling really depressed right now but usually, I’m quite content.

  12. is there something you would like to say to someone?
    I want to tell Paw I love him and miss him.

  13. what are three things you did today?
    Cooked dinner, went shopping, did laundry.

  14. would you rather sleep at a friend’s or have them over?
    Have them over.

  15. what is your favorite kind of gum?
    I used to love gumballs or hubba bubba but I don’t chew it anymore. Sugar free gum makes me sick.

  16. are you friends with any of your ex boyfriends/ girlfriends?
    NO.

  17. what is on your wrists right now?
    Nothing.

  18. ever liked someone you thought you didn’t stand a chance with?
    Yeah and I didn’t.

  19. does anyone have strong feelings for you?
    I certainly hope my husband does!

  20. are you slowly drifting away from someone?
    I feel like I’m always drifting away from everyone… I’m so lonely.

  21. have you ever wasted your time on someone?
    Yes.

  22. can you do the alphabet in sign language?
    I can only spell my name.

  23. how have you felt today?
    I was doing really well but not so much right now.

  24. you receive $60 without any reason, what do you spend it on?
    Groceries, a phone case, or starting christmas presents.

  25. what is wrong with you right now?
    PMS.

  26. is there anyone you’re really disappointed in?
    Not that I can think of

  27. would you rather have starbucks or jamba juice right now?
    Neither. Both are loaded with sugar.

  28. why aren’t you in ‘love’ with your last ex anymore?
    He abused me and then left.

  29. how late did you stay up last night and why?
    12? And just because I couldn’t sleep and was on my phone.

  30. when was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?
    A month ago..

  31. what were you doing an hour ago?
    Playing The Binding of Isaac

  32. what are you looking forward to in the next month?
    I don’t know to be honest.

  33. are you wearing jeans right now?
    No.

  34. are you a patient person?
    Only my nanny kids. I am incredibly impatient about everything except for them.

  35. do you think you can last in a relationship for three months?
    I’ve been married for a year.

  36. favorite color?
    Cerulean

  37. did you have a dream last night?
    I’m sure I did but I can’t remember now

  38. are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants, or pajama pants?
    No pants. I’m in bed.

  39. if the person you like and your ex were in the same room, what would you do? “DH, this is that asshole. Look at what a stupid asshole.”

  40. do you love anyone who is not related to you?
    An entire family.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Have you had an argument with anyone recently and if so, do you still have issues with that person?
I can’t think of the last person I argued with. It was probably DH about something petty and we’re fine now.

Are you talking to anyone while filling this in, or how about texting or chatting on Facebook?
I was talking to my sister but she stopped responding.

Have you done something recently that helped someone else in any way?
I try to do that every day.

What kind of mood are you in at the moment and is someone else responsible for that mood?
Feeling tired and achy and sad. No one is responsible except for my own brain sucking at creating serotonin and my uterus for being empty.

Has someone of the opposite sex been getting on your nerves lately?
My boy nanny kids maybe?

Who was the last person that asked to hang out with you and what’s the story of how you met that person?
The Donuts and DH met them in school.

Have you ever felt so depressed that you were struggling to carry on and if so, what would you say to someone else who was in that situation?
Often. It will pass. Try taking a nap.

Have you ever worn colored mascara and if not, would you ever think about trying it?
Yes I have.

If you have, what is or was your favorite color to wear?
Blue

What do you remember about your first day of secondary school and were you more nervous or excited about it?
I don’t remember.

Who was the last person to pay you a compliment?
DH probably.

What can you tell me about the shirt you’re wearing and is it one of your favorites?
I’m not wearing one.

Is there anything that’s happened in the past month you wish you could go back in time and change?
I can’t think of anything.

What color is your purse and/or wallet?
Silver.

What’s the closest item to you that’s black?
My laptop.

Is there a certain name you think seems to have become really popular and you know lots of people with it?
All kid names that end in -den or -son…

What’s the most expensive item in your make-up bag?
None of it was expensive.

Who was the last person of the opposite sex to text you and do you think that person’s attracted to you?
DH and hell yes.

Before Facebook became popular, did you use any other social networking site like Bebo or MySpace?
Myspace.

Has anyone ever asked you out and you turned them down?
I think so.

If so, did you feel guilty about it and why do you think you said “no”?
I was taken.

Who’s your most recent text message from and has that person ever told you that they love you?
DH and every night.

Do you think when someone says, “I love you” that you are obliged to say it back?
No.

I know it’s a depressing thought, but have you ever actually tried to imagine what the end of the world might be like?
No.

Which Disney princess do you think is the most beautiful and why?
Pocahontas or Mulan. They’re my favorites.

Someone tells you that you’re wasting your time with the person you love, so what do you say?
Fuck off.

Has anything happened in the last seven days that you’d like to forget?
I can’t remember so…

When did you last hug someone of the opposite sex?
Earlier today.

Have you ever seen the film “Casablanca” and if so, did you like it?
No but I tend to hate “beloved classics”

If you’ve had a bad experience in a past relationship, did you find that you were scared to get into another relationship in case the same thing happened again?
Yes.

Are you friends with the last person you hugged, or something more?
More.

Do you ever post song lyrics as your Facebook status?
I used to.

How many girls do you know with the name “Georgina”?
None.

Do you drink alcohol on a regular basis or do you prefer to save it for special occasions?
Save it.

Do you have a relative whose name begins with “L” and if so, what can you tell me about them?
I have a cousin named Liam.

Did you play with Barbies when you were a kid, or did you prefer something else?
I had barbies but I can’t really remember much of my childhood.

Are you a secretive person?
No.

When did you last eat?
An hour ago?

Do you plan on kissing the last person you kissed again?
Of course.

If I’m going to buy you a box of chocolates, which kind should I definitely not get?
Dark chocolate. I hate it.

If you met the celebrity that you most admire, what would be the first thing you’d say to them?
I can’t figure out who that is.

Has anyone ever told you that you’re special and if so, do you think that person meant it?
DH has and I hope so.

Is there something you generally always ask for help with?
Changing the trash.

If you had to give up your phone or your computer, which would it be?
Computer.

Has anyone called you “gorgeous” or “beautiful” today?
No.

xx
ladylexapro

  1. Torrid
  2. Internet
  3. The boye

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