Yeah, y’all. Thank you for the notes regarding yesterday’s weirdness about my fling hurting my feelings. They helped me tremendously. I was in a pretty shitty place for a while. I had to leave the gym mid-workout because the lump in my throat was so big I couldn’t breathe. I went home and wrote that entry.
I was also angry at myself for getting so worked up about it, but DAMN. It really was a horrible thing for any human to do to another - the teasing and ‘never mind’ is one thing, but sending me extremely intimate photos of another woman???! Not just no, but FUCK NO, YOU MOTHERFUCKING ASSHOLE.
A couple of things. First of all, I looked up BPM on a few websites. In a way I kind of wanted to figure out who his girlfriend is so that I could somehow let her know what a shit her boyfriend is. While doing this, I realized that Bachelor Party Marty is actually 34 years old (not 32 like I was writing previously). I have known him over 3 years, so yeah, I remember him saying he was 31 way back when. No matter. 34 years old SHOULD be a mature adult in anyone’s book, right? LIke, I might even expect something like this from sweet, young HB John, the 22-year-old (actually, I wouldn’t expect that at all - he’s so much more a gentleman than BPM), but you don’t play that shit when you’re in your mid-30s, right? You’re well into adulthood, buddy.
I didn’t find the girlfriend, nor did I really want to. Even though I’m a Scorpio, I’ve never been one to get revenge in those kinds of ways. Way back when, I had so much information about the married women SexyPants was running around with I could have destroyed a dozen marriages. But I always keep in my mind that what goes around comes around and it’s not for me to destroy something when those kinds of things have a way of self-destructing anyway.
I’m done with BPM. It’s goodbye forever. We had a pretty decent run, but I’m so over that bullshit.
It’s time to get real.
And yet I’m struggling with getting really REAL right now. You’ll read this when I continue my travel story, but I find myself in another text relationship with someone who lives far, far away. It’s driving me crazy, but I don’t want to stop…but this too is keeping me from really seeing someone who lives in the same vicinity and is truly open and eligible.
I don’t want to live in a fantasy world, though I find myself in fantasy relationships time and time again.
Am I just afraid of being with someone who’s juuuuussst right for me?
Food for thought…
xox,
GS
Loading comments...