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It all began in My Journey on how to understand my mind

Revised: 08/18/2018 5:51 p.m.

  • Aug. 18, 2018, 5 a.m.
  • |
  • Public

It all began when I was 11 years old.
I think I was molested by my uncle when I was 11 years old. By age 13 I was logging into adult chat rooms. I fell into the Furry crowd and convinced people I was a girl. I would RP and get them to do naughty things on camera for me. I liked it. Alot. My Brother found out and beat the living shit out of me. It ended my desire to being a Furry and I never went back.
When I was 14 I developed my love interested in Music- Opera, To be more precise. Thanks to the Amazing Movie “The fifth Element”, I saw the beauty of singing.
When I was 16 I realized that I was Homosexual, and as a junior in BFE HS, most people didnt know since I hid it so well.
When I was 18, I found out what Drugs were. Weed, Coke, etc. Reason why? My sister, whom was 28, Decided that her life wasnt worth the struggle. She died that year.
When I was 19, My nephew was born. He brightened up my life more then anyone could.
When I was 20, I molested my Best friend and told everyone he wanted to experiment.
I didnt start anything ( drinking, smoking, drugs) until this moment.
By 21, I fell into a hole. Emotions rained on me like a story from Noahs Arc. I never told anyone.
By 22, I had a plan. I would commit suicide when my parents die. They were the only reason I was still here. No one else needed me.
by 23, I destroyed friendships so it would be easier to say Goodbye.
By 24, I looked up “escape” routes so I could see the world before my timed demise.
By 25, I had little to no friends, a dead end job, emotions to my neck, and no were to go. I was Lost.
By 26, I hadnt had sex in 14 years. I had one friend. I would go to work and get angrier and angrier at myself for not being :Normal:
By 27, I convinced myself that I was the problem. I am the Problem.

This year, my 28th year, will be my hardest year. This is the year I lost my sister and started my downhill spiral. This is the year I get to find out what made her want to die and If I am ment to die. I dont know yet.

This is my Journey.


Last updated August 18, 2018


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