Teef:To the dentist yesterday morning. I’ve had excellent check-ups for the last 5 or 6 years because I have been taking excellent care of my pearly whites.
After years and years of awful teeth and shoddy workmanship in and around my teefs, I finally found a brilliant (and yes, expensive) dentist who takes excellent care of me…hence the great check-ups for the last several years.
Still, there are some things that are not perfect with the work I’d had done before him, and now some of the last of it is coming to a head. They found a small cavity on the side of a tooth that has a crown on it. I’ve felt weirdness in this tooth for quite some time now, and I fear that once they take the crown off next week they’re going to find they need to take some drastic measures. I’m nervous about this and probably shouldn’t be stressing over this, but sometimes when you just have that feeling…
Right now the dentist is just saying he’s going to take the crown off and fill in the cavity, but I bet it’s worse than what he thinks under there.
You guys, I used to have so many fucking dental issues. It’s a wonder I don’t have false teeth. I’ve been through so many tooth emergencies that at one point in my life I needed to get myself tipsy by drinking vodka before I’d visit the dentist office. The thought of having a root canal is making me feel like a good stiff drink right now, but I will refrain since I’m at the office.
Anyway. Like I said, I’m lucky that I have the teeth that I have and that they look as good as they do, all things considered. Exciting stuff, eh? Suppose it’s better than crying about men.
Bod: I blew it on my diet yesterday. I mean…not just a little. I blew it hard. I was starving after going to the dentist and decided to reward myself for all my suffering with a sweet and sugary latte and a large size bag of Corn Nuts (just LOVE that crunch juxtaposed with the sugary sweet - I suppose I was taking it out on my bad tooth). So that set the tone for the day. Later, someone offered me a free lunch after a meeting and I ate a big sandwich and salad and then MORE Corn Nuts just because I’d bought two big bags and THEN ate some more when I got home - including more nuts and a nice-cream sandwich (though that’s pretty healthy the way I made it) - just ate a lot of calories I’d say!
Regardless, I got up early this morning vowing that it was a new day. I actually felt great for my 4:30am workout and I could push myself harder with all of that energy stored in my body from yesterday - at least that’s what I’m telling myself.
My arms, back and booty are shaping up nicely. I can see the muscle definition in my legs now. Remember back in the beginning of the year I was worried about not having ANY muscle tone? Well, the biceps and shoulders are starting to become defined. The butt is lifting (halleluyah!)…but my tummy! I can’t get that little pooch of tum-tum flat. I know it’s because I sometimes have a tiny piece of bread or maybe even something sweet, but it makes me so crazy that everything else is shaping up nicely and then… womp womp …the bit of flabby belly. My super in-shape friends tell me that “it will happen”, but I don’t know, man. I’m 50 years old. It’s been there for over 5 years now.
And then there’s the question of weird thyroid stuff happening - which I will get addressed at my doctor visit. We’ll see. I know there’s no magic fix, but I’m working so HARD. My insanely early workouts have turned me into a big party pooper. I can’t stay out late and I CRAVE my sleep time.
Men: All out of options right now. Anyone who I’ve seen in recent weeks is gone, gone, gone. I’m tired and don’t want to think about it. Not a peep more out of EXMS since the Great Instagram Blocking of 2018 (thank you again for all of your advice). My horoscope tells me specifically to STOP doing the things that aren’t working and I suppose that I should stop with the Bumble since it’s not working, but ugghhhh! I’m just so annoyed that I’m struggling with this so much. I feel so strongly that I need a male presence in my life. I miss it so much.
Women: I’m hanging out with Lovely and some other girls this weekend. Finally. Lovely is my friend who lost her daughter last year to a drug/alcohol overdose. I’ve missed Lovely so much and I know she’s been struggling. It’s logistically difficult to see her because she lives way, waaaaay out in the suburbs and I never go out that way. Terrible, HORRIBLE excuse, but life. You know? Though she does come to brunches as she is able. She’d stopping coming in recent months, however. I think she has been feeling out of the loop and I want to get her back in. I can’t even imagine. I love her so much and want to let her know.
I am also trying to get my friend at work to do a crafty wine night at her house after hours because she lives close to the office and her dog is my dog’s boyfriend! I have the “yes”, but I can’t get the commitment to the date. But there’s so many things that I want to create and she has a huge table and lots of space (unlike me).
Yes, I need man time, but I also need woman time. I’ve been hanging out solo for so long that it’s sometimes difficult to get that momentum.
But like everything else, I will keep trying…just maybe go about it a different way.
Work: Well. We had a bad year last year and we’re starting the fiscal year out shitty as well. July was a suck month for my company. This is scary to me as I scramble to launch that Huge Thing that I Created. Our sales team has set up a big meeting with a customer in Boston this month, and I asked Boss if I could go and he said no. This does not bode well. I am seeing some more writing on the wall that can’t be ignored. I just had a huge meeting with Boss and he thanked me for my passion and dedication to the HTIC but that we have to watch spending (he says to the person who found a $200 plane ticket to Boston).
I told Best Bud and she’s shrugging her shoulders. She’s trying to get out as fast as she can, but not having a lot of luck - her salary ask is too high…I think mine is too as I’ve talked to some companies. She’s actually had several interviews. I think she’s going to move away. She even suggested I do the same. She told me that a friend of hers just moved to NYC…at 50. She’d always wanted to live there and finally just threw caution to the wind, found an apartment, moved and found a job in two weeks.
Perhaps something to consider?
OK. Need to roll. Gotta get my bad-tooth-having, pooch-belly-sporting, no-man-loving, girlfriend-missing, job-hunting ass back to work!
xox,
GS
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