One day it will change. Permanently for the better. in Procrastination Nation

God it makes me so mad..... I just wish I could have a companion that cares more about anything else going on in the world other than a electronic device....
We are under enough pressure… Feels like me… My anxiety doesnt help.... I’ve been out from surgery, his car went kaput… we just got a trade in on my vehicle … and i love it. couldnt be more grateful. its not brand new, but newer than the other… but he has barely worked on it. granted we went on vacation this past weekend… but now i regret it. Bc of the pile up of bills, and he promised he would work doubles while i was out of work… ha… he did work the holiday week.... i just dont understand him… The other day, he went to go get my medicine… he kept falling asleep… he takes a nap every day he comes home. Idk whats wrong but he doesnt try to stay up so he can try to go to bed at a decent hour… maybe try to get on a sleep schedule… anyway, he was falling asleep, so i said not to worry about getting my medicine, i will go get it. finally once i begged for the debit card back to go on my own, he finally gets up and goes… Hes gone for OVER an hour… He said he was talking to someone about applying for work at his job… Sure, I get it… So when i call to check on him, bc i needed the medicine, he sends texts saying “piss off” after the phone call goes to vmail. thats just childish. this is my husband i mind you. Mid 30s nearly, and hardly ever serious. I cant stand it when I need to be serious and he wants to piss around and joke about everything.... Esp when im trying to find him and its been over a freaking hour just for a 15-20 min run to the pharmacy… so he sorta gets the hint later and apologizes… i think… anyway… Weve got alot coming up and alot of pressure… It hits me all at once today… I go back to work Monday… I need my car… Then he tells me hes gotta work. Stuff that he cant control… i get it… but other problems have occurred and we are pressed for time..... So Im freaking out, and I go grab a bible in our bedroom. Its not the one I normally use… Which i use one that is more clearly explained and bc im feeling so overwhelmed and tired and just want to read something comforting and pray, I grab one we had found in our other car and I dont clearly understand it. I attempt to read and pray anyway… All the time, hes listening to stupid videos on his phone. Right beside me.... You can tell Im just worried sick… I make a comment that I dont fully understand what I read in Psalms… he just kinda chuckles and says what?… and i repeat,..... but he doesn’t care… he goes back to his phone.... I always try to console him when hes stressed. when i see him in a state of overwhelm. at least try to make sure hes okay.... Nothing from him..... He thinks he apologizes and everything is okie dokie.... Hes seriously inch by inch, breaking my heart… Slowly, Im falling out of love with him… We’ve had so much go on in the last 13 years,… the only thing I dont regret, is our daughter. He makes it so hard for me to say i truly love him… when im slowly dying inside.... I really would rather be single the rest of my life and just focus on me and sophia… thats how I feel most of the time.... Its not fair. Ive tried so much in this relationship\marriage, and i dont feel like i get anywhere… He never offers to help do things. I have to ask… Im so tired of it.... and I never get a day where he says something pertaining to sex… I cant stand it… One day… itll all change. I feel it in my heart. I know it will. God’s already showed me the plan.... I just have to wait..... Is it really too much to ask for the small things anymore? Lord please give me strength…