RAD: RAE in These Foolish Things

You could look at this one as a Rate a Meet & Greet, however something very date-y happened during this meeting so I’m considering this a date. Read on, friends!

Name: RAE (stands for Rough Around the Edges)

Introduction Platform: Bumble. We connected last week and he was sloooowwww in his responses, so I bit the bullet and gave him my number, told him I was antsy to meet him instead of texting for a long period of time. He took that to heart and we texted a bit yesterday and before I knew it we were meeting last night! I’m patting myself on the back for being a little more aggressive even though it’s uncomfortable to me. Perhaps it shows my interest level?

Age: 46

Job: Operations for a food company

Lives: In a stunning new high rise maybe a mile from my place. Lives just about on the top floor, which makes me anxious to see his place! Supposed to have an amazing view.

Length of Date: 2 hours (and well past my bedtime since I needed to get up at 4am today!)

We Did: Met in the park between our places and talked. It was like pulling teeth to pull this off - he was coming from work and I was tired from work and almost blew it off. Glad I didn’t!

He Looked: I saw him from across the park. First thing I noticed was that he is very tall (6’6”), next is that he was wearing his clothes from work because he came from work: dress pants, dress shirt open collar, no tie, nice shoes…but kind of disheveled and wrinkled. I get that - that’s how I look when I come home from the office. His hair was wild and unkempt in kind of a devil-may-care way, and he had a scruffy beard. From his pictures and from this first look, I was kinda eh about him. I thought he was…okay…fine. But combine this with his personality and it is H.O.T. to me. Like…beyond sexy.

I Looked: Like a girl in a park walking her dog in distressed denim and a cute orange linen tank top with tassels at the hemline. Sandals. Not much makeup and didn’t do a lot with my hair. Like I said, wasn’t all that hyped to go on a date, but was killing two birds with one stone by walking the dog and meeting him at the same time. I thought about this as I was nearing the park. I wondered if it was selfish of me to always have the guy meet me in the park where I can check him out without making too much investment. And then I thought…well, maybe. But think about this - the guy doesn’t have to make too much investment either. This date was free and VERY easy for both of us to get to. I didn’t make him go out of his way at all. In fact, I made it super easy! He literally made a stop on his way home to meet me!

Convo: It started slowly. I think we were feeling each other out. This dude was sooooo laid back he was almost asleep! My dog took a shine to him and wanted to sit in his lap as we sat down at a picnic table to have a chat. He didn’t really react one way or the other. I thought he might not like her, but he was just so damn mellow! And slowly but surely, his dry wit came out and the banter started and soon we were laughing. And I don’t mean nervous laughter. This dude is clever and absolutely hilarious. After some initial getting-to-know-yous including this goofy thing where we somehow ended up trying to come up with the best sentence using as many variations of the word “fuck” that we could, he told me this AMAZING story about getting his vasectomy. You guys, I KNOW this sounds so crazy, but this guy had me ROLLING with laughter - I mean, literally doubled over with full-on JOY LAUGHS. I loved it so, so, so much. I can’t even explain how absolutely attractive his sense of humor is to me. We ended up talking about emojis and what they really look like. For example, we all know that the eggplant is the emoji for a penis, but is the peach an emoji for a female butt or a vagina? I realize it was kind of crass humor, but I have to say, it’s MY kind of humor and I loved it. We talked through the merits of the fuzzy peach skin and on and on it went. I know this is not coming across like it was last night, but I seriously was blown away by how much this guy got to the heart of my goofiness. I was…for lack of a better term…smitten.

High Point: The full-blown beautiful laughter. And yes, I do see the obvious contrast between this RAD and the one immediately before it. I suppose that’s why I felt so GOOD about this one!

Low Point: He didn’t make a plan to see me again and I sooooo wanted him to before we said goodbye.

How It Ended: We stood up to compare heights. He didn’t have his height listed on his profile so he asked me to guess. I told him that I normally wear heels, so it was hard to determine, but I guessed 6’7” and he confessed to 6’6” which made me do a little tip-toe thing and I was like, “aaahhh, yes!” and then we talked about the scooters that people were whizzing by on and I did some kind of funny dance to show him how you get them going…he laughed at me and I danced some more! I didn’t want it to end, but it was way late and he said he needed to get some stuff done (which I think is code for “eat”). He offered to drive me home, but I told him that I wanted to walk. We said goodby and hugged and he kissed me on the cheek. And then we talked a little more. I gave him an assignment to send me a pic that had to do with his vasectomy - long story - and we talked a little bit about dick pics and I was like NOOOOO…I hate dick pics and he pointed out that what I was asking for was pretty much a dick pic in a roundabout way and he came in to hug me again and I knew he was going to KISS ME ON THE LIPS and he did. And it was good. And left me wanting more, more, more…but I got too shy at that point so we said our final goodbye and I turned with the dog and walked away.

Chances Are:Please let there be at least a 75% chance of him asking me out on a REAL date!!! PLEASE!!!

Date Rating: A for the humor!! Humor for the WIN! Sometimes a little rough around the edges can be a really, really surprising thing!