Funny, isn't it? in Letters I'll Never Send

L,

Funny, isn’t it? That I wanted to start these letters because of you. That you made me so frustrated that I needed to immortalize you after just a few weeks. Don’t think I forgot about you though. Here we are.
It’s always nice to have an airhead around every once and a while. One who is bubbly and can make fun themselves. It’s entertaining. But working with one, gosh. I was so hopeful, you graduated high school, got excepted to a university, and you’ve had a job before. I was hoping you could at least sweep well. But you can hardly even do one task at a time. When you help customers you make things up or ask us too many questions. Sell what you have, they would have to come back either way. And if you’re watching pretzels in the oven, please actually do that. I don’t trust you to walk around the room or disappear when things are baking. You have no sense of time and apparently, have no problem with burning things. I have never seen someone so shameless burning our products. Do you know how difficult it is for me to run the whole store by myself while you stand there in the corner? You’ve been around long enough to understand how things work; I shouldn’t have to remind you several times a day. We work as a team. You work with us, not just on the register. If there aren’t customers, do something else. If you’re standing by the oven waiting for three minutes, do something else. You see us do it, you don’t even want to try.
And your darn breaks. You are not here alone dear, you need to understand that we have a system. When you say “I’m taking my break” I hear “I don’t care what’s going on or what you need I’m over this.” You’ll get your breaks but taking a break now or in fifteen minutes when there’s nothing to do would be lovely. But we couldn’t have that, could we?
You’re one of the few reasons I can’t wait for school to start. You’re sweet and I hope you’ll enjoy school. But if your work style is anything to show for how you behave as a student, I worry for you.
And stop asking so many questions. It makes people uncomfortable. Not everybody wants to share everything with a relative stranger. Especially seeing as you have a boyfriend that I hear is a pretty good guy.

Good luck and good riddance,
E.