Cause I Rather Feel Pain... in Just Moments

~I’ve been in a mood the past couple of days… helpless, worthless, just wanting to die… It’s been a while since I’ve felt these things so strongly. Nothing is even that terrible. And I honestly have no idea where its coming from. I wish I did so I could stop it, but I can’t. I’ve tried a lot of different things but nothing has helped.

~I’m also in a lot of pain. Mostly physically. I have a new wrist injury that is making working out rather difficult and the soonest appointment to see an orthopedic is in three weeks. So I have to deal with it for the next three weeks and then some depending on what they say. I did try resting it for 3 weeks previous and that really didn’t have any effect. Doesn’t help its my prominent hand so just doing regular life makes it hurt. My uninjured knee also started hurting today. I’m just hoping I aggravated my tendinitis because that’s a lot less scary than anything else. I can’t have two bad knees. I’m too young to be in a wheel chair unless I physically can’t walk. It’s just one thing after another.

~I’m just not sure what to do anymore. I just want to give up and never leave my bed. But then I’m bored and don’t know what to do. I can’t even do hobbies because my wrist hurts too much to do them. Even now as I’m typing this I have a shooting pain in the side where it always hurts. No idea why. Its been doing that at rest as well. Fun! :(

~I know this really isn’t a great update, I just wanted to get some stuff off my chest, in hopes that it would help my mood. Too soon to tell if it will have any effect. I hope you are all well and in a lot less pain than me.

<3