032018 in Who I Am

Ughhh so the other night I told Matt that I met someone, and he was very supportive and understanding about it. So much so that I almost asked him if he met someone too… but I think he really just genuinely wants me to be happy. I want that for him too.

He told me “I know you would have loved me until the end of time if I didn’t lapse on you. I knew this would eventually hurt me, but I hurt us a year ago, and this is all my fault.”
All with tears in his eyes. I haven’t heard something so meaningful in my entire life.

It was extremely hard for me to tell him. I care about him so much.

Things with Bobby are going good, he’s taking it slow on the asking me to be his girlfriend thing. Which I’m totally cool with! I told him one thing that does concern me is how our schedules are basically the complete opposite and it’s rare that we’d get to spend an entire day together. Like..that kinda sucks. But at the same time, It’s kinda nice bc then I don’t feel obligated to always check in or be home/available at all times.

He’s said some really sweet shit to me. I really really dig him. He is sooo effing yummy.

I’m sooo tired right now I’m considering napping before going to the gym but I have a feeling that If I do nap, I wont wake up til like 9 and then itll be night time and I wont want to take preworkout/go. gahhhhhd.

Office life is great! I’m just becoming extremely mortified by the fact that I’m gaining weight!!!!! Aghh! it’s killing me lol and ive been stress eating bc of money. It’s rough right now. I’ve literally got 30 dollars to my name, I have to make it to next Friday. I have a bit more than a quarter tank of gas. I don’t wanna have to borrow money from my parents. but… it’s lookin rough.

Bobby told me he would help me with money. which is incredibly generous. but I woudnt wanna take that from him.