Another Fight; Just Ready To Give Up in Complicated or not its my life

Dear Journal,
I work so hard not to lose it with her to fight for my baby boy. I don’t know how much longer I can take this. I just wanna give up. It’s not like I’ve had the choice for over a year now. I don’t see the point anymore. I can take several steps forward and always be pushed what feels like a hundred steps back. I don’t wanna be like this anymore so unhappy like this, crying almost every night. I wish He would just let me give up, let us start our own family by ourselves. I feel like its just gonna hurt me when I get him back. I look at him and see his father and I can’t see his father. I’m gonna talk to him tonight! I’ll let you know what comes of it, maybe ill be able to finally stop being in pain. Stop feeling so worthless.
Kisses,
Butchersgirl0129*