This life. in Thoughts.

When I was 15 years old, I swore that I would never get married and that I would never have children. I wanted a life full of adventure and excitement. My mother was the same way. My entire childhood was spent moving around and switching schools because my mother could never stay in one place for too long. She was a gypsy at heart and loved everything new and exciting. I was always the same way. I would always date the “bad boys” because it was exciting and dangerous and I never knew exactly what was going to happen.
But now, here I am, I’m in my 20’s and I’m a housewife. I’m married, I just recently had a baby in October, and I have two stepchildren. I cook, clean, and go to work then I come home and do it all again. I take care of the children and my husband and the household. We’ve been married for 6 months and it’s been so great. I really do love my husband, he’s my best friend and I want to spend every day of the rest of my life with him. But it’s all become so goddamn mundane. I’m so fucking bored with my life that I find myself reminiscing on old times, wishing for adventure and excitement. All I do is make bottles and wash dishes, I grab beers and make the beds, I brush hair and pick up toys.
How the fuck did this become my life?
How the fuck did I end up trapped in this fucking endless cycle?
I swore that this would never become my life but here I am.
I love my son more than I’ve ever loved anything in my entire life and I wouldn’t trade him for the world.
I love my husband and I would marry him in any lifetime.
But I feel ready to crawl out of my own skin. I have no clue what to do. If I try to talk to my husband about it, he’s going to immediately get defensive (just how he is) and think that this life isn’t good enough. And it’s not that. It’s not that my life isn’t good enough. It is. It’s amazing and I’m sure there are plenty of people who dream of having what I have.
I just want excitement and adventure. I just don’t know how to tell him that. And I pray to God that I can stay in this life without feeling trapped for too long and not run away like my mother did.