Feeling Lost... in Loss

For some reason, I am feeling lost today. Just feeling so down and unable to concentrate on anything. I love my job and things are going great for me personally but I can’t help but feel like something is missing. Maybe thinking about my twins who would have been is getting me down. They would have arrived on 07 April 2018. As the day approaches, it hurts even more. I die inside every time someone gushes about their baby and I can’t really be around kids anymore. It’s so damn painful. I smile on the outside and act normal. But on the inside, I don’t want to be around these people. I just want to curl up into a ball and sleep.