First time here in New thing

Hi! today was a very strange day.
But here’s a backstory:
My mum always tells me that i’m pretty and i would be a great model and i always kinda wanted to try to go to a model casting. but the thing is i’m really self conscious. sometimes i feel like a pretty teenage girl but then suddenly something just snaps in my head and i feel like shit. i dont like myself, i don like my appearance, my facial structure, my personality. i feel ugly and too skinny. “not thicc enough”. i have a gap between my front teeth and thats really pisses me off.
sooo, today my friend asked me if i wanted to go to the model casting with her. and I said yes! I applied the application and then i send it i regret it immediately. i know that im not gonna to become a model. im not pretty! and when i’ll see all the pretty girls who will become models i will feel like shit. i know that. i dont want to go there but i dont want to disappoint my friend…
sorry for my bad grammar, i’m from shithole country called Lithuania