I just watched some movie about some shit or the other. It was good; it had that one guy that you always think is that other guy but he’s not. My ejuice habit hasn’t gotten Froggy as in “if you’re feeling froggy you better jump”. Some guy who was a warm body said that in the movie, I hadn’t heard that out of anyone’s mouth but my own since I worked in juvenile corrections.
Other phrases I haven’t heard anyone but me use since I was in juvenile corrections; if it were up your butt you’d know. Go high or go home. Best getcherself some.
One phrase I never used or understood that I haven’t heard since around then --- Now why I gotta be all that (that often substituted for some insult or command, e.g. asshole or back off. Ok, it’s goes like this Why I gotta be an asshole or Why I gotta back off?) I never quite understood, I mean it always seemed fairly obvious why you gotta be and/or to profound of a question to be so, I don’t know, rhetorical sounding. The answer, at least from me, was usually along the lines of “You don’t gotta be an asshole, that’s just the hole you seemed to have chosen. This time. Want a do over?”
Was a long day. It seems to be ending well. I’ll take it. There’s a reason why they repeat that fucking thing over and over in AA, one day at a time, a statement even more rhetorical and obvious than why I gotta be … it’s the whole constant crisis thing. You don’t plan for the weekend when you’re hanging by the skin of your teeth on Monday. You start doing that and you’re fucked. If you’re just sitting there watching some fucking movie with that one guy who isn’t the other guy, you can take as many days at a time as you want. Doesn’t matter it’s all the same fucking day.
It’s also why somewhere in recovery every motherfucker thinks he’s a navy seal, goes all thousand yard stare, tells the newbies about the horrible shit he’s seen. It’s a tenuous and marginal tie in to crisis, chaos. I mean sure, there’s some overlap, a lot of overlap, no one goes looking to a vet as a model of sobriety, but those guys don’t tend to get mouthy into recovery. I guess I’m speaking in gross generalities, but you know, fuck it. I actually don’t have to be sober. Crisis and chaos I can deal with. It’s the slow churning crisis I’m not built for. Hmmmm, I do have a lot of scotch …
This is a less brief and more meaningless entry than the earlier one. Ok, it’s not meaningless, it just hasn’t stated it’s meaning outright. I’m ok, the house of cards is still standing. Now if I can find a clean rock glass … Oh. Yeah. See that movie. I highly recommend it. It’s got that one guy … no, not him, the other one …
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