Advice for myself. in Ramblings

Let’s think about this. You got clean and sober, had a sponsor and a program (as she did) for over a year. You were more in love (as was she) at that time and could do anything you set your collective mind to.
Fast forward almost 2 years. You’ve gone back out, you have no sponsor or program, the world got super angry and political (as did I) and you guys in the midst of this decide to have a baby. Fast forward again 6 months, she tells you she is scared and unsure about having a baby with you, is tired of the back and forth with drinking, and is not as in-love with you as she used to be. You stop drinking, and after a couple of weeks want things to be back to the way they were between you guys just because you find out she’s pregnant.
You have to give her time and space man, and work on yourself. Don’t neglect or ignore her, but also don’t smother her or put any expectations on her, if not only for the fact that you’d not like it if she did that to you. Don’t get jealous or paranoid, don’t get distant and look for attention elsewhere in lieu of attention that you want from her. She is dealing with a lot right now, and what she needs from me is to be a good man and a good member of society. The husbanding and fathering will just come naturally, no need to overthink that stuff.
In sobriety there is that childlike spark, that passion, that sense of humor, that community of friends. You may have to eat crow a little bit and swallow your pride, but you know that your old home group is definitely worth a visit soon. Maybe start small and work your way back up to the big meetings full of the people you know. Stay honest and keep moving forward, and don’t over think or over analyze things too much along the way, that is how you get distracted. Stay strong and at peace buddy. Everything is fine right now and today.