The dinner protocol in journal

therez been great progress in the dinner scenario, as my depressed self have also become more rebellious, i have started speaking out against the rules of how to eat and what to eat put down my father :D
After 25 years of my life was spent eating my dads favourite dishes in the way he liked, and i finaly said no at dinner, when i was asked to have rasam with my rice. i hated rasam, evry bit of it and preferred some other curry over my rice, but had always quietly eaten rasam coz my dad said so. it wasnt even nutritious, was overly acidic and gave my sensitive anxious stomach a hard tym anyway. my dad looked at me, blinking. and he asked me again, its good have it. i said no, i prefer sambhar. the he went on to have a monologue about how it was the best dish in the universe. i still didnt have it. He said, look at this kid, not even having a sip of it even after me asking her a multiple times. i reaached out and took a very tiny sip n put it back saying i still doesnt like it. My cousin had come over for dinner, n looked at me in astonishment. Me and my brother’s cowardly half assed nods to my fathers commands were well known.my dad went on about it till i finished eating and left the table. People might wonder why it mattered so much to me, but dinner was always like a perfect example of how my life literaly went down. How i cant even have the tiniest choices without having to fight for it, forget the freedom to marry somebody i love, i didnt even have the freedom to have a stay over at my friends, to go study where i want to or stay where i want to or wear what i want to, and marry when i want to, even if they pick the groom. i had won none of my battles, but i felt less of a doormat just because i choose what i ate that day. the scandal, the rebellion :D
i thought in secret about all the forbidden things i have done behind their back, and about how they would react if they found out, if my refusing rasam had put him off so much.