So.......
An opportunity has presented itself...... and I am having so much anxiety about it.
A friend contacted me who recently left work. She told me that a position had arisen at her workplace and that I should check it out.
So I did.
And it was perfect. in an arty part of the industry, the role falls under a marketing department which I am interested in and have considered studying after my Diploma of Event Management.
However there is a conundrum.
I have an opportunity to apply for a new job. I may not get it but if I do I will have a difficult decision to make.
The pros. of the new job:
If I take this position I would be working for a smaller company, which tends to mean that the people are closer and there is less politics. I am soooo over the politics at my latest workplace. I hear and witness things that nobody should have to put up with, and you never really know who you can trust or who has an agenda. The company is also in the arts industry, which is a stepping stone in the direction for my end game ( to work for a art gallery, museum, heritage building or unique venue utilising the space).
I need a fresh start and my current workplace is so toxic that I have no idea how long I can stay there. They would be part of an industry where I could be myself, dress a little more creative and have more freedom to be the unique quirky individual I am. I would already have a friend there as this is the person who has told me about the role.
The cons, if I take the job:
The job would be full time and therefore it would take me even longer to complete my studies. I am not sure if TAFE will let me extend my studies and if so for how long. This diploma is something I really want and need to finish.
The pros if I stay at my current workplace;
I will be offered part time work for most likely the rest of the year. I need this to finish my studies hopefully by the end of the year. I have already had leave approved to go on a major trip in April and they are a reputable company to work for and it will look good on my resume.
The cons if I stay at my current workplace;
I don’t fully trust the people I work with. I am told constantly by my manager the she and other staff think I don’t take initiative - I constantly update and create new records, I follow and chase issues that nobody knows about. I reorganise and create systems to handle things that need improving - and nobody knows. My own manager has openly said she has no idea what I do, and yet she feels comfortable saying I don’t take initiative.
I have been belittled, isolated, silently bullied and talked about by other staff. I feel like I am not taken seriously and I am doubted by managers. When asked about the fact I will have to think about where I want to head in my role this year and progress too, there is no department that comes to mind I would want to join, as the work either bores me or the staff are unprofessional or cliquey and backstabbing.
However if I leave I know that there are major powerful people who work there who could make it hard for me to gain work in the industry if they spread false things about my reputation.
If I stay, I will be working in an industry that I have no real passion about. I intend of working on this dry part of the industry, I want to work in a role that is in the creative field. and even if I stay and take on another role so that it looks good for my resume, it will take me probably another 3 years for me to find my first creative entry level role. My manager has gone into bat for me and worked so hard to arrange the flexibility I need for working part time. She is so over run with work at the moment that this is the worst possible timing, especially with them finding a part time coworker. If i leave it will be like stabbing them in the back. I value loyalty above all else, I will be breaking one of the things I most believe in, the character I most value in a person. Then I think of how they mistreated a coworker when she resigned who worked there 3 years and did extra work and worked on projects she didn’t have to. Where was the loyalty to her for what she did.
I feel like every week that passes, I lose a little more of my happy quirky patient self. I find myself wanting to use swears, and I hate swearing. I feel more jaded and tired. I am 26 and shouldn’t be feeling burnt out only a year into my dream industry when I haven’t even finished my studies....
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