Grief blows in Life

Motivation to do anything eludes me. I never think it will hit me this hard every year. The Anniversary of my brother’s death. It sucker punches me in the gut every time. He was never someone I ever thought I would have to live without. We were supposed to grow old and spoil each other’s children. I miss him every day.

I have to make myself get off the couch. I have to get up and do something. There is a weight on my chest making it hard to move. We all carry grief differently. Mine makes me want to shut down and hide from the world. I know that’s not the healthiest thing to do. I already live alone - I get plenty of “me time.”

Time to get up.

They are wrong, you know. It never gets any easier. It just changes.