This is somewhat sensitive subject matter that I almost don’t want to write about here, but at the same time I’m eager to maybe collect my thoughts.
It came to my attention a few months ago that Mercer was regularly wetting the bed at night. He’s 16. Nothing about this seemed normal to me. He has no sleep issues that I’m aware of. No bladder control issues. No health issues at all, really.
It’s been a back-of-my-mind issue for a while now. I want to talk to him about it, but I couldn’t figure out how to go about something like that. It would be just as embarrassing and awkward for me as it would be for him. And what would come from it? Maybe we’d decide to put a plastic cover on his mattress that’s already ruined anyway.
I wanted to talk to Olsen about it but decided it wasn’t a subject matter that I should be sharing with his sister. Seemed like a privacy thing for him.
I’m also keenly aware that bedwetting in older kids can be a sign of sexual abuse. But I couldn’t think of how or where or when anything like that would be happening in Mercer’s life. If that’s the problem, then of course I want to address it firmly and immediately. But I just don’t see it.
So I brought it up with Megan. Mostly because I didn’t know what else to do. And because for some reason, considering she doesn’t have kids, she seems to always have pretty good answers for things that are baffling me.
She thought about it for a moment and said the last thing I ever would have expected. She said, “Maybe he has a pee fetish? Maybe he’s into watersports? Maybe the idea of wetting his pants or his bed really turns him on?”
I’m not so innocent and prudish that I didn’t know such fetishes exist, but it certainly had never crossed my mind. Of course, I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about what stuff my kids are into sexually.
It would be a relief if that was the case. It would essentially mean there was nothing wrong. It would mean he has his own interests and whatnot and it’s not really a problem for anyone other than that it’s destroyed a perfectly good mattress.
But how do I find out? Part of me thinks I sic Megan on him. She’ll do it without hesitation. But do I ask my friend to talk to my son about his sexual interests?
And there’s no saying he’d answer her honestly. Maybe he’d be embarrassed and deny everything. That’s probably what I’d do.
So I don’t know what to do. And that’s why I’ve still done nothing.
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