Last Weeks of the Best Semester... 12/21/2003
Chris and I were supposed to meet that Wednesday, but yeah...that got screwed up. I called him on Thursday morning and told him to call me back. He called me Thursday night to tell me that his phone was dying and that we'll hang out after classes on Friday.
Luckily I was in the car with Nicole and erin, and we were on our way to donner. We had so much fun getting lost on our way to the restaurant. The food was good and I had a great time talking to the girls. The only snag was with the price of my dinner. I ordered a $6 dinner of pasta and meatballs, with mushrooms and peppers as extras. The menu didn't say it, and the waiter didn't mention it, but apparently, each extra side was $3. So basically, the sides cost as much as my dinner. Other than that though, the night was a lot of fun.
During our phone conversation Thursday night, Chris and I agrred to meet at 2:15 in the old student union. I never see him on campus, but ironically, that Friday afternoon I saw him randomly an hour before we were supposed to meet. He was coming from the campus post office to pick up his cell phone charger, which he had left at home. (That explains why his cell phone was always dying...). Anyway, I hadn't seen him since before Thanksgiving break, and when he saw me, he didn't even approach me to hug me. Whatever. We made inane conversation for a few minutes before we went our separate ways.
We were supposed to meet at 2:15 but I didn't show up til 2:30. Fuck him, I figured. He made me wait since Wednesday to talk to him. He asked me where I was, and I kind of blew him off by saying "I'm not that late," and sort of just shrugged.
I asked him where he wanted to go. I didn't want to break up with him in the middle of the union, because that would just be shady. He returned my question with the same question, qwithout giving me an answer. That pisses me off so much.... I didn't want to take to to someplace on campus that I frequently visitied or that I particularly liked because then our break-up would be always associated with that place in my head. So I suggested a certain dining hall that I already hated because we used to have our 7:30 breakfasts there during pledging. Once we got there I just asked, "So what's going on?" which lead to the exact same conversation we had two weeks ago--he doesn't think anything's wrong, whereas I do. I told him flat-out that I don't like only seeing him once a week. His answer: I'm not giving up hanging out with my friends for you. That's like me asking "What would you like to eat today?" and he answers, "I got sick on a roller coaster once after eating too much beforehand." The answer had nothing to do with my question!!!I didn't ask for him to stop hanging out with his friends, nor did I ever imply it. I simply said that I'd like to see him more than our usual once a week drunken hook-up downtown at the bars. He goes on to say, "Well, you're always so busy." SO I argued, and rightfully so, that I've always rearranged my schedule anytime he's asked to hang out with me. Then, he AGREES that I've been flexible with my schedule. SO WHERE'S HIS ARGUMENT???
My friend and pledgesister, Toni, told me that if I really wanted to break up with him that I shouldn't 'over-talk' the issue. She suggested to just go in there, say that I'm unhappy and that I want to end it, and then leave. Did I do that? No. Why? because I have no frickin backbone.
He told me that I was using a mean tone of voice with him so I actually got out of my seat and kissed him on the head. However, after our second 'talk,' and our second almost break-up he still didn't seem to get the clue. he announced that he was going to go and take a nap. Instead of spending time with his obviously distraught girlfriend, he went to sleep.
I saw him that night at The Rat. I was with Big, who was trashed out of her mind. She and her boyfriend had broken up so she got wasted. Personally, I don't blame her, but she gets so wasted that it's at the point where people, usually me, have to take care of her. Not have to...she's my friend and I want to make sure she's OK...it just gets annoying after awhile, and if you ask her to stop drinking so much, she makes like she doesn't know what you're talking about.
Anyway, he and I went to the back of the bar by the pool tables to sit down and talk. We made small talk, nothing important. He did hold my hand the entire time though. His suitemate Jay came over to Chris to tell him that they (the suite) were all leaving the bar. Chris asked for five more minutes, which Jay agreed to. As soon as Jay left, two girls from my sorirty came over, with Big in tow, and basically told me to take care of her.
Big, apparently, kept yelling at our mutual friend Tanya because Big wanted to go dance on stage and Tanya kept telling her not to. Why did Big want to dance on stage so badly? Because her ex-boyfriend was dancing on the stage, with another girl I might add, and Big wanted "to go and see them." However, big was so drunk that she ended up falling off of the stage. Tanya got fed up with her and left, so two good-hearted, but nevertheless meddling sorority girls brought Big over to me. So, Chris left with Jay and the other suite-mates while I went to go and take care of Big. I'll miss her terribly when she graduates in may, but I'll never miss her immature stunts like this...
He IMed me when I got back. He basically said that he was glad that he saw me out tonight and that whetever problems we were having, he felt as if we had gotten over them. I feel as if nothing had changed. He never areed to my request to see each other more and I obviously don't have the hypothetical balls to tell him to fuck off. However, at least I know he's not being a crummy boyfriend because he doesn't care, or because he wants to be an ass...that's just the way he is. So, I can deal with it, or break up with him. My problem is that I don't know which is worse--being unhappy with him or being unhappy without him. The whole week I thought I was breaking up with him because he had lost interest, I was really miserable. So these are my options...take it and suck it up, or leave it. I've decided to take it.
Loading comments...