Big/Little Night 11/3/2003
Big/Little Night was last Thursday night. I got my second choice for a little, which I was happy with. Her name is Erin and she's one of the sweetest people you could hope to meet. Thursday was the last day of angeling (the big sister giving the little sister presents) and I was pissed because I wasn't able to be around all day. I put off making Erin's photo album until the last possible minute so I couldn't go to the sorority dinner and see her open up her last basket of presents. I actually made her album cover out of one of my pillow cases--I had no more money and I didn't have time to run to the fabric store. It actually looked pretty good though.
Anyway, so that night that our littles found out who we were, Corinne's car broke down so we had to postpone the cerem,ony by almost forty minutes until she got there. It sucked because this place called the Club Zone was giving out free drinks from 10-11, which we ended up missing and I ended up spending $30 that night on alcohol for Erin. The night was really fun though...My lil is such a freak on the dance floor :o). We were at Club Zone for awhile and then we went to The Rat where we met up with Erin's housemate Darielle, who pledged last semester. I've never really talked to Darielle, but she's such a sweet girl. She told me that she was glad Erin got me as a big because I was sweet and she knew I'd be nice to Erin. So we partied the night away (until one am when the club closed) with my pledge class and with erin's pledge class. Darielle, their male housemate whose name I can't remember, Erin and I all walked back from downtown to our houses...Erin and I live a block away from each other, which is mighty convenient...I can't wait until she crosses!!!
They were hanging out in my house for awhile, using the bathroom and chatting with me. I got IMed by Chris as they were leaving. He had gone to another bar that night and didn't have any fun, apparently. We got into the topic of him not doing his work so I said, "Don't fail out of school because then you're no good to me." So he writes back, "Speaking of which, what is the deal between us, if you don't mind me asking?" I basically evaded the question, and then he evaded the question, and the conversation was a big waste of time. I did manage to tell him that "I liked him too much to say things between us had to be one way or the other" and that "I liked him too much to push him into anything." Now, to me, I answered his question because I basically said that I obviously wanted a relationship, but I didn't want to push him into one, and that even though I wanted a relationship, I'd be willing to settle for 'friends with benefits' or some crap like that. It may sound like a cop out, but I'd rather have him as a hook-up buddy than as nothing at all. When I repeated the conversation to Rachel she yelled at me and told me that I didn't answer the question at all.
Chris bothered me because the closest thing he came to answering his own question was, "I wouldn't mind keeping things as they are and seeing where it goes." Well, as of now, we're hook-up buddies, and I'm not even sure if we're exclusive hook-up buddies. And if he really likes things as they are that means he doesn't want a relationship or to have anything to do with me except sleep in my bed once in awhile. I was really drunk that night, and he knew it, so he said that it was a bad time to bring it up and that we'd talk about it another time. He hasn't brought it up since and I've been too confused and upset with the first conversation to ask again.
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