Changing Priorities 10/18/2003
On Thursday, after the sorority dinner, I had made plans with Chris to meet up at his dining hall on campus. I was freaking out on the way over there, deciding whether or not to stand him up. I ended up walking in, not seeing him, and then walking back upstairs to call his cell and find out where he was. It turns out I walked right past him without noticing. Luckily, he's not as oblivious as I am and waved at me until I found out where he was. We talked for about a solid hour before I got on the bus to go home.(My car was still at the mechanic). He waited with me until my bus came...we talked about random bullshit, but it was so good to not see him in a bar, and just hang out with him like a normal person. I didn't want to fall into the 'hook-up buddy' category...not with him...
As I got on the bus I turned to give him a kiss good-bye. He gave me a hug.I was a little shocked and more than a little disappointed...Big advised me that maybe he was unsure of what to do, and seeing as I gave him no hug or anything when he left my apartment that morning, he decided to play it safe instead of getting rejected. This sounds very logical since he IMed me when I got back, saying he would hang out with me on campus any time I wanted, and to simply let him know when. So obviously he has some interest in me...
I really really like him....It scares me more than I'd like to admit. I don't want to walk away from it, but I'm afraid to get involved. I don't want to get hurt. But anyway...
Becca and her new boyfriend Jeff came over for the night last night. I like Jeff much better than what I did. It just goes to show you how much you don't get to know a person from a first impression...We were simply talking and hanging out when Chris called. I felt so stupid because I started grinning like an idiot when I saw his number on my cell phone screen. We BS'ed for a few minutes...he told me he's be drinking beers with his suitemates and then going out to the club. I told him I'd be staying in for the night with Becca and Jeff. Originally, I wanted Chris to meet Becca, since she is a much better judge of character than I am, but Toni advised against it. She said it was too soon to start pushing him to meet my family, and the absolute last thing I want to do is push Chris. He kept asking about Becca though, like what we were doing and when they were coming...The logical side to me says he was showing polite interest, but the hopeless romantic side of me says that maybe he wanted to meet her...I jokingly told him to drunk-dial me after he got back...he later IMed me telling me he was going to definitely call me later...It's so dorky how much I look forward to his phone calls....
He called me again sometime after one e'clock (I had turned off my phone at one am and when I woke up randomly at 4:30, there was a message from Chris telling me to call him back, that'd he be up for awhile and that he wanted to talk to me). I figured it was too late so I didn't...but it felt good to have him leave me a message...
I have a feeling that when I meet up with him tonight things are going to get serious...I don't know if I like that idea or not...
On top of everything, I'm up for a little sister through the sorority this semester. I like 90% of the pledges but I feel like I've been so preoccupied, with my internship, with school, and with Chris that I haven't really gotten to know the girls. It's ironic because Big was never really around when I pledged and I always promised myself that I would be around all the time when I was up for a Little...Funny, how your priorities change. This sorority used to be my whole lifewhen I first arrived at this school, and now...it'sjust not. And I like that. But yeah...I have a sorority activity with the pledges in a few minutes and I have to go and pick-up Corinne. I'd rather be doing work or talking to Chris than climbing some fucking tree, but whatever....I feel really bad that I haven't been around at all this semester and my pledges barely know me, so Chris and school are taking the backseat this afternoon...
I'm sure tonight will be crazy, so I expect to write another long entry tomorrow...
Until later
Artist
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