May Wonders Never Cease... 10/16/2003
On Saturday, I woke up next to Chris feeling all warm and fuzzy...literally and figuratively. Even though he was against the wall and I was sprawled out on the other side of the bed, it felt so good to wake up with someone next to me...and not just any someone...someone that I really liked. I was lying in bed, trying to figure out what to do next when I decided to go inot the bathroom, wash last night's make-up off of my face and attempt to make my hair look somewhat normal so Chris wouldn't flip out over my gruesome morning appearance. I walked out of the bathroom and saw Big standing in the kitchen so I went to go and talk to her. Apparently, I didn't even have to tell her that Chris had slept over since she walked in on him. She reasonably thought that the figure under the blankets was me, so when she walked into my room she called my name. When Chris, or who she thought was me, didn't answer she simply ripped the covers off. I hope Chris didn't flip out too much. I walked back ino the room , hoping he went back to sleep so I could snuggle with him for a little while. I was a little shocked when I walked ino the room and saw him not only fully awake but also putting on his shoes. I offered him something to eat, but he refused, saying he had to go. I felt like I was going to cry...I felt as if we had had a quasi one-night stand...
Getting Chris back to campus was a bitch. I didn't have my car, since the hood was still fucked up frrom my car accident and the battery had died that Thursday. So like a fucking ghetto person, I had to send the poor boy home by bus. Problem was, I didn't have a bus schedule. We made awkward conversation while walking to the bus stop while I silently prayed for the bus to come soon so I wouldn't look like too much of a fool. I looked at the wrong bus schedule and saw that the next bus wasn't coming for another two hours, and told Chris. He called a ccab, which would've cost $6 just to take him back to campus. Chris was actually really cool about the whole thing but I just wanted to sink into the floor. The, to make matters worse, the bus showed up. So now, I looked like a bigger idiot because I couldn't read a fucking bus schedule. At that point I could feel the tears coming since I knew I looked like a huge jerk...plus I looked especially bad that morning....I barely even looked at him when he got on the bus. He told me, "You know, I had a really good time." I replied, ":Yeah me too." (Real suave Artist...real suave...) and then for the grand finale, I backed away when he tried to kiss me good-bye. I have no idea to this day why I did that.
I walked back to my apartment feeling like a world class loser. I vented to Big for awhile who told me to calm down and that everyone's 'first morning afterward' was really awkward. I didn't feel any better so I called Becca who told me the same thing. Then, he IMed me saying that he had an awesome night and wanted to hang out with me again tonight and that I should IM/call him once I knew what my plans were. I felt even dumber that he still liked me. Why does such a nice guy like that like me????
That Saturday night was Greek God (basically, a beauty pagent for frat boys and the proceeds from the tickets sold goes to charity), and everyone execpt me and Guidice went. I had the intentions of doing school work but ended up passing out for a solid two hours since I got no sleep the night before. Chris and I stayed up until 5 am hooking up...and when we weren't hooking up, we were talking about everything....our majors, our plans, family religion, etc. It was amazing, but I got no sleep. My friends didn't come back from Greek God until midnight and by then I figured it was too late to call Chris. I didn't want to call him earlier because I didn't know what my plans were and didn't want to tell him to meet me somewhere and then I didn't show up. So I ended up just walking downtown with Guidice at 12:30 am with my friends Heather and Merri already waiting for me inside at the club.
I was soon separated from Guidice so I stuck with Mer and Heather. Merri informed me that Chris had been at a frat party that she went to earlier. I asked her, out of morbid curiosity, if he was with a girl, or alone, or with his friends...When she told me he was with one of his guys friends just drinking I felt better. Heather and I were walking towards the dance floor, with Mar trailing behind us. Mer catches up to to us and informs me, "Your boy is here--he says he's just going to the bathroom and then he says he's coming back for you." My heart jumped. "...he says he's coming back for you..." Dude I was so happy by that little statement. This morning's episode didn't seem so bad all of a sudden.
We were dancing on the dance floor for about a half-hour when we ran into Chris. I told him I was sorry that I didn't call him and that I didn't know my plans until five minutes before I left. He's so laidback...he's like "Ok whatever.." Not in a pissed off way, but in a totally carefree manner. It made me like him even more. We sort of lost Mer so Heather and I went in search of her. I didn't want to ditch my friends again so I told him that we had to find Merri and that I'd meet him at the bar later.
He ended up finding us at the side of the bar…He looked so cute in a polo shirt, drinking his two beers…Yes, he was drinking two at a time…he’s an partier like me :oP. We stood around talking for awhile…I was acting like an ass, as usual. I tend to say really stupid shit when I’m nervous, and Chris makes me terrified. So I was telling him about all these private jokes between me, Mer, and Heather that night…You know how private jokes aren’t funny when you’re not there when they’re being made? Like, if you repeat a joke, it’s not that funny? Yea…so he kept nodding and smiling and I just kept feeling dumber and dumber…I know I sounds ridiculous, I just don’t know how to stop myself. Chris and I ended up dancing for about forty minutes or so and ended up hooking up on the dance floor….Ahhhhh…I love kissing him….He has the softest lips and so they're so gentle….
I left early, telling him I had to wake up early the next day. That was sort of true…I did have work to do the next day, but I could’ve easily stayed at the club later. I didn’t want to stay til the club closed with Chris because then we’d leave together, and he might want to come back with me again.I have no issues with Chris being in my bed, but I was worried he’s want to go further than what we did last night. Besides, I also didn’t want this to turn into a fuck-buddy relationship. I didn’t want to be the girl he met up with at a club that he knew he could fuck later, if he wanted. So I left, and gave him a kiss good-bye, which turned into a five-minute kiss good-bye…goddamn his lips…Before I left he totally shocked me by saying, "Hey we should meet up on campus sometime this week and have lunch or something." He actually wanted to hang out with me outside the Rat? A 19 year-old sophomore boy actually wanted more than sex??? May he never cease to amaze me….
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