Chris 10/11/2003
I was talking to Chris last night over IMs, and we had made tentative plans to meet up at Oakfest, this massive three-house party on Oak Street. I went out with my non-Greek friends Heather and Meredith (aka Merri) to Oakfest. Beforehand we had all done shots of 99 Apples and Rasberry Smirnoff to get the night started. When leaving, we ended up paying a visit to the boys downstairs, who were throwing a party. Heather, who has the biggest balls out of anyone I know, simply marched right in and started introducing herself. The guys were pretty hot, and had mentioned that they were going over to Oakfest, but we ended up not hanging ut with them. The party was awesome, and the liquor was really good (margaritas, Fuzzy Navels, punch, and beer) but it got broken up pretty early by the cops.
Against my better judgement I called Chris basically to say that the party had been broken up, that I was going to The Rat, and maybe I'd see him there. The three of us were standing near the front of the entrance when he walked in. He's more boyish than I remembered but still has that cutesy look to him...He's also much broader than I remembered. But yea, anyway...he just kind of smiled and nodded to me and walked away. I was so pissed off and peeved...I mean, I don't understand boys. They ask you for your number and screenname, tell you to meet up with them somewhere and then fucking ignore you. So I spent the next forty minutes fuming and glancing over at him to try and figure out what the deal was.
I was about to leave with my friends when he comes over to me and says, "Hey." So I was like, "Hey what's your deal? I know you saw me before and didn't even come over...you just walked away." So he says, "Well you were with your friends..." So whatever...He bought me a beer, we talked with my friends for a bit, and then danced on the dance floor. I retract my previous statement about his kissing technique. He's actually quite good, and not a bad dancer at all. The club was crazy; I couldn't stop kissing and touching him. We ended up leaving the Rat and going to a pizza parlor to talk and hang out for awhile. We followed my friends around from bar to bar, and got bored with it so decided to leave. My friends were ridiculously drunk and were acting really obnoxious. I asked him where he wanted to go next and he replied, "Well we can either go back to my suite or your apartment to go and hang out." We ended up walking back to my apartment, where we met Erin and her drunken hook-up for the night on the way home. Erin was out-of-her-mind drunk and practically being carried by this guy she was with. I felt really bad for Erin's friend who was visiting, this chick named Lauren. It's gotta be uncomfortable walking back with two drunken couples...
Anyway, so Chris and I get back to my apartment and I'm already starting to feel sick. Chris is a sweetheart, and he'd never do anything to hurt me, but I was terrified about what his expectations might be. I realize that when I agreed to let him come home with me, he'd come to the reasonable conclusion that we'd end up having sex. I know it sounds retarded, but even at 21, I just don't feel like I'm ready for it. We sat on my couch, and like a third-grader, I wouldn't touch him. I was sort of leaning into him, but I had my knees drawn up to my chest and my hands planted firmly in my lap. He put his arm around me and was trying to draw me in closer but I didn't budge. I was terrified that if we started hooking up, he's want more and I don't know if I was ready for that. For like an hour straight we talked about inane topics like our old favorite cartoon shows, school, and other b.s. I knew he kept looking at me but I didn't want to turn my head. Finally, with my self-conscious nature getting the better of me I turned around and asked, "What are you looking at?" So he just smiles and says, "Nothing," and we continued watching t.v. This happened like, three or four times when I finally was going crazy and asked, "Why do you keep looking at me??" So he smiles and says, "What, I can't look? I think you're pretty." No boy has ever called me pretty before...I think I blushed a bright purple for a few seconds before muttering "Thanks...."
I'm aware this wasn't the best hooking up etiquette, but I had no idea what to do. I have so little experience with boys and even less with boys that like me.
At one point during the night we just looked at each other at the same time and just started kissing. My couch is pretty small, and Chris is a pretty big guy, so our position was kind of awkward. I impressed myself with taking the intiative to push him off me against the couch, and simply straddled him. As for the rest of the night...I'm putting it into a private entry. I will say however that it was one of the most amazing (and nerve-wracking) night of my life. Chris is such an awesome person I'm almost too cynical to believe that he's for real...
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