Message Board on Divorce 7/30/2003
Date: July 21, 2003 10:56 AM
Author: Encore Une Fois
My parents told me an hour ago that they are getting a divorce.
I knew they were not getting along, and they were fighting quite often (nothing toooo extreme), and to be honest I knew that they are going to get a divorce sooner or later, probably when I would turn 18. Now, after I have completed my freshman year at college, they let me know that everything is almost ready.
Although I expected this to happen, and I have even predicted that the time would be around now, I feel weird. I might even say I feel sad. I don't really know how I feel. Since I was a little kid I was preparing myself to accept that, but I still feel that it has gotten to me for some reason....
Taking advantage of the anonymity of the board, I felt like sharing with you.
Date: July 21, 2003 10:59 AM
Author: janehoya
If you don't feel sad now you will later. Divorce really sucks and my parents' basically ruined a lot of my life for a lot of different reasons.
I wish people would try harder to stay together, you know, get counseling or SOMETHING. It pisses me off.
Date: July 21, 2003 11:00 AM
Author: Kyptonite
Don't sweat it. First parent to find a new partner, you should disregard.
Date: July 21, 2003 11:01 AM
Author: janehoya
Wouldn't recommend doing that unless it's the parent that's not paying for your college education.
Date: July 21, 2003 11:04 AM
Author: Kyptonite
Be deceitful. Act like you support their decision to their faces and hate them with a passion.
Date: July 21, 2003 11:06 AM
Author: krazie crazyfied
it's easier to deal with it if you understand that it's better for both of your parents. they'll be happier, and if you let a year go by, you'll see that it won't be nearly as bad as you think for you either. i had to go through the same thing.
Date: July 21, 2003 11:10 AM
Author: janehoya
Oh yeah yeah, your parents don't make an effort to keep together their marriage even though they promised when they got married to love and care for each other forever. So they lied. That was a BIG trust issue for me when my parents got divorced. What else will they/did they lie about? I just don't understand why people don't take more time to try to work through their problems.
The whole thing reminds me of that Southpark episode when Stan's parents got divorced and started dating other people and one of them, his mom I think says something to the effect of "this is better for all of us and your well-being means more than anything to me... if by well-being you mean my happiness."
Date: July 21, 2003 11:22 AM
Author: krazie crazyfied
but people change. people want to do different things with their life. and yes, marriage is supposed to be a lifetime commitment. but you've got to take the people's independent lives into account when considering such things. life is more important than marriage.
Date: July 21, 2003 11:35 AM
Author: janehoya
You don't know what your situation is going to be, forget 20 years from now, tomorrow. It's called being prepared for whatever comes along. I am not saying that divorce should never be an option, but in the vast majority of cases, it's not that circumstances "are unforeseeable and unsolvable" but rather that people just give up trying. They've been more or less secretly unhappy for a long time as much with themselves as with their marriage and by getting a divorce it allows for a change to figure many things out. It's taking the easy way out and that is revolting.
Date: July 21, 2003 04:37 PM
Author: krazie crazyfied
you think two parents staying married all the way through their child's high school years (even though the problem has probably been on-going) is the easy and selfish way out? you people are very naive.
Date: July 21, 2003 01:20 PM
Author: Towelie420
Subject: why are you all such whining babies
I can't believe you all decide to bich and moan about your parent's divorces. Did you ever stop to think that the world does not revolve around you? When a relationship is over, it is over. Period. You should be happy your parents decided it was over as early as they did. Would you really want them living together hating each other for years ahead of them, all because of a promise they made twenty years ago? Sht changes, deal with it. And about your parents meeting new people and hating them for it, why are you so against your parents having a life. You should want your parents to be happy. You're eighteen years old. Start acting like you care about other people's happiness. especially the people that devoted eighteen years of their life to you. My parents split and i'm only fifteen, I realized it was the best choice for everyone. Both of my parents are happier and I am happy for them. Plus if my parents are happier they are nicer to me. So count your lucky stars and stop filling a college discussion thread with bullsh*t about your parent's divorce.
Date: July 21, 2003 01:41 PM
Author: krazie crazyfied
the world does not work ideally. of course all of us would prefer that. would it make me happier if there was no poverty or hunger in the world? well, no shit it would. but you've got to learn how to play with the hand you've been dealt.
Date: July 21, 2003 11:21 AM
Author: Kyptonite
Parents should have to pay their offspring alimony for divorce. Not each other.
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