So
this morning
I had another 30 minute long “conversation” from Chinese Boss on how I suck at immigration, I’m not a good employee, and a veiled threat that I could be fired at a whim. Considering how I already am borderline about this place… I have never been more “Nope. Fuck it. I’m out.” Seriously. And… if I really wanted to spare feelings (and it is me, so sadly, I do) I can say it is all health related. Because frankly, it might be. They get so mad about the fact that I miss things like “535” when it is supposed to be “505” and… they are right. I should catch that. A good lawyer would catch that. What possible reason do I have for not catching that?! (1) Glaucoma; (2) Fibro Fog. So… maybe my shitty shit is because of health. And resting for a few months, catching my breath and finding a mental/emotional/physical health in myself… is necessary. But… a big but… I would stress that I would want to return to Law after “getting healthy” and that if they thought they could not say good things about me… tell me now because I don’t want them ruining my dreams!
–

So I found it ironic that, looking back through past entries:

January 25, 2017

“All of that coalesced into me throwing a bit of a hail mary play. A Chinese/American law firm in Des Moines is looking for a full time employee. I applied. We’ll see what happens.”

(Most entries around this are dedicated to the Trump Worship of the County, the violent anti-muslim sentiment in Tiny Town, and how Wife was becoming more and more withdrawn and broken as we stayed in Tiny Town)

January 30, 2017

“Good news?
I applied to a firm that had locations in Ames and Des Moines. Both places I would enjoy. Both places Wife would love to live (if, at times, expensive). They want to interview me.

That is good.

The potential down side? They specialize in Criminal Defense, Immigration Services, Business Law and Formation, Family Law and Civil Law. So… that is good in that it is the full range of law. But it seems the firm has a specialized clientele.

值得信赖的经验

It is a uniquely Chinese law firm. So much so that its webpage is in English with Chinese Subtitles. So… learning new forms of law… while navigating a culture divide… while Trump’s administration (1) fucks with immigration; and (2) targets China as The Big Bad Wolf?

Well… I suppose it would certainly be an interesting experience. AND gets us home. So… fingers crossed, I suppose.”

(Interesting… is accurate!)
(More entries about Tiny Town’s anti-Muslim: I honestly overheard this shocking and obvious bullshit: “Liberal morons’ll get us killed. 99% of all immigrants hate this country and the Muslims won’t be happy til we’re dead and sharia law is put in place.”)
(A strong entry that says “I don’t have to be a lawyer to know that moving back home is the right call.”)

February 3 (The Interview)

I got in to Des Moines at 2:20 p.m. Even if the haircut was going to be quick; that would push me to 2:40 at the fastest. I didn’t want to risk being late to the interview. BUT anticipating a haircut with lots of hair falling all around; I was wearing a “Theater Make Up” shirt that would allow me to change into my suit shirt/tie/suit coat after the haircut. So I pulled into a convenience store and changed in the bathroom. I always feel like a schmuck when I use a convenience store bathroom without purchasing anything, so I grabbed a Kickstart and went to the counter. The attendant complimented my shirt/tie combination (which is always good) and I was off to the interview.

I parked my car in the 5th St Parking Garage (one I’m extremely familiar with from my numerous years in Des Moines) and walked around on street level. Everything was like going home… but not just “home to my city” but “home to my dimension.” It was like a full dimensional shift and I was finally back on the correct Earth. I then went up to the skywalk. For those unfamiliar with Des Moines; several of the businesses criss-crossing downtown are connected via an elevated closed skywalk. Essentially, hallways that connect buildings around downtown but elevated so as not to block traffic. An ingenious and valuable part of downtown. And the interview place was well connected via the Skywalk. Street level; it is a block away from where Wife and I had our wedding reception. Skywalk level; it was a stone’s throw from the Downtown YMCA. So… theoretically, if I got the job… I would be seconds away from a fully functioning work out facility. A huge perk.

The interview itself was promising. Relatively new attorneys but well experienced. They claimed a heavy focus on team work, training, and making sure that paperwork was filed promptly and correctly. So either, it would be a fun experience where I learn a lot. Or an intimidating hell-scape where I get fired after three months. Honestly, though… if I get the job and do get fired… at least we’d be in Des Moines? LoL. But the firm covers most of Iowa and most of law. International Business, Immigration, Divorce, Custody, Crime, Contract, Juvenile. They don’t do a lot with adoption; but suggested if it was a revenue stream I was interested in, it could be worth looking into. They have cases in Des Moines, Iowa City, Ames, Cedar Rapids. And in private practice; drive time gets to be/can be billed. But even more… those are all cities I’ve applied to before because I would be great living there! The only question I feel that I really fucked up on was the question about pay. I hadn’t even THOUGHT about pay. Like… at all. Any job I’ve ever had anywhere had a salary… even when I was selling shoes, we’d get base salary plus an “encouragement” commission of 3% per sale. But… private practice? Shit, lots of options. Do you take a salary from the firm and all income from cases goes to the firm? Do you charge a flat rate per case? Do you charge based on commission? If you charge based on commission; what kind of percentage? How about the differences between aiding a Named Partner versus First Chairing your own case? Yeah… I had no friggin idea. EVEN STILL… that was the most promising interview I’ve had since I graduated law school. Honestly… not sure if I’m a fit for the firm… not sure if I’m competent/capable enough for the job. But the interview was promising.

(So it is interesting. I figured “better to be in Des Moines” I figured “this job may be a hellscape” and I figured “I’m not a fit for the firm” but I also said the interview was promising… all accurate. I got the job… and it turned out I was not a fit for the firm and the job does have its hellscape moments).

Last updated January 24, 2018