Now Playing: “The alien in my womb” - Olivia Schofield via TEDxZurichWomen
Psych-lady upped my meds yesterday. I’m making a note of this so I can reflect and see if this really changed how things were going.
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I am so tired today. Bosslady brought Peep over to my house this morning, then we went and got Mickey and went back to their house. I was so exhausted. I was falling asleep doing the dishes. Hell, I gave them a bath just so I had an excuse to sit down. The kids were so good, it wasn’t their fault, I just didn’t get enough sleep. The damn dogs woke me up early for no reason, and then once again after I fell back asleep. I’m wondering if I shouldn’t take the trazodone if I know I have to get up early, even if there’s 9 hours to sleep in between.
Bosslady is supposed to be bringing Peep over again in the morning, but maybe not, because Ocho might not be feeling well and she “doesn’t want to take him out if he doesn’t feel good” so I have to get up two hours early so that he can stay home. Here’s the thing, though. He’s never as sick as she thinks he is. He’ll say he’s too tired, she wont push him, and then the second she leaves he becomes a demon. He’ll say he’s too sick to eat his breakfast and needs to stay home, but will then badger me for snacks the entire day and then throw things if I say no. He’ll say he’s too tired to go to school, but the second she leaves he’ll be jumping off of his bed, teasing the other kids, blasting music (on an iPod that the other kids aren’t allowed to have) that I’m not allowed to get him to turn down because “C’mon he likes it”… I’m not looking forward to this. He’s by FAR the favorite child, and I’M the one reprimanded when I discipline him, even a short time out. It is my job to give in to his every whim, and I absolutely hate it. He’s one of many. He knows he’s the favorite and can get away with whatever he wants. Ugh. Don’t get me wrong, I love him, I just hate being the waitress/DJ/remote control for him. There is a difference between his actual illness and just how spoiled he is.
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I feel better now. Though I’ll feel guilty in a few minutes because who can dislike being around a child that much? Me, apparently.
I worked all day today, and then I have been doing school stuff since I got home. I have to take extensive notes in order to learn without an actual professor in front of me/talking to me. I have written so much my hand is killing me. I also need to get a new pillow… I’ve had a sore neck and shoulder for two weeks.
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I’m gonna do another question from that prompt list. Then I have to shower and go to bed for the inevitable hell that is tomorrow.
Describe LOVE using all five senses.
Love feels like warmth. Like I’ve been out in the snow all day, and now I get to curl up in dryer-fresh bedding to defrost.
Love sounds like… his voice. I wish I had a better descriptor, but his voice has the power to soothe me, command me, give me strength, and turn me into a pile of mush.
Love smells like birthday cake. Grandma made it for me. Or mom did. Or he did. Someone made me cake. No scent makes me feel more loved.
Love also tastes like birthday cake. and sweat. and chocolate.
Love looks like a pinky promise, one made over and over again.
xx
ladylexapro
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