New. Hello my nonexistent crowd. I hope you all have had better days.
I’m new to online entries, however I’ve written in journals. I thought this route would be easier for my hands since I want to write so much. But I write too fast and then my handwriting gets sloppy. So yeah.
So what is going on in my life as of now?
I’m always in a constant fight with myself. It’s so tiresome. I just wish I was happy. And I’m not saying this because my life is soo horrible (Which sometimes it feels that way), but because when I have those happy moments, I’m still not happy.
I’m not happy going to festivals.
I’m not happy going to concerts.
I’m not happy in general.
Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not a bitter person for the most part. I smile, I put in my effort with those I associate myself with, and over all I want others to be happy. I guess the closest thing I can get to happiness is when others are happy.
But as of late, I have been sad. My best friend of three years and I are not friends anymore. I feel like I live the same day over and over again. And I am not so great at the love thing.
I got a dog late October and he helps. Saw him at the shelter (AdoptDontShop kids) and he is so energetic. He pushes me to be up and at it. He keeps me on my toes. And what a smart boy he is. I absolutely adore him. He loves to run inside the house, but since it’s tile, he trips nearly all the time when he walks too fast. To paint a pretty picture of him, he is a three year old half german shepherd half husky pup (I think any dog at any age is a puppy). One eye is brown and the other is whitish-blueish. He has that one pointy, one folded ear. And he loves to have his tongue out all the time. Love him!
Silly me, I wrote more about my dog than I have of myself. I guess I might add I don’t think too highly of myself. I always want to boost people up. But in a crowd of amazing people, I go the most unnoticed. Back when I would hang with my best friend, the guys always focused on her, even if I was right there. At first it made me a little sad, but now it’s more of non-feeling fact. When it continued to happen, I had no opinion about it anymore. Therefore I couldn’t be disappointed. I don’t need a guy’s attention to feel validated, however, it wouldn’t hurt to be noticed by someone. Anyone. But oh well.
Currently, I want to go into nursing. I’m hoping it works out. I still have to do a bit more paperwork but regardless won’t get a response until months from now. If there’s any update on that I’ll be sure to post it on here. Fingers crossed for nursing school!
I guess that should be enough for a first entry, right? Hope whoever reads this has a great day (:
Loading comments...