To you in Waves of Life

In no way do I want to be or sound similar to some naive, sweet girl who wants sympathy for the troubles she’s gone through. I’m grown enough to realize that experiences shape us, and it’s our choice on how we continue to grow from it. I’m old enough to realize everyone goes through different tragedies, and we all have our own perception of pain.
I’m told that each love will change your perception on love as you go. But I fell in love in 2017. I don’t mean “wow let me post you on every social media site I have, because you’re that good of a catch, and I’m obsessed.” No. I’m talking “let me be there for you. Let me share in your joys and sorrows. Let me show you how much you deserve and how a significant other should treat you.”
I came from a toxic “love” 3 years ago. And I cannot sit here and lie that I’m not still dealing with its after effects. In short, that one part of life made me believe love was hard, and it was normal to be so hard. Crying, self doubt, and low self worth was a normal every day thing. However, it made me consider that maybe love was not for me. In response, I built walls and created myself from scratch. Who I am now is not who I use to be. 3 years it took. 3 years for you to come out of the blue, introduce yourself, show me what I’m worth and what I deserve, and for you to change everything I ever thought about love.
On one hand, how dare you? How dare you sweep me off my feet and tear down those walls I worked so hard to build. Do you realize how much effort I put into it all? On the other, thank you. Thank you for treating my heart so kindly, for being the type of humor I love, for being a gentleman, for just being you. You are what I genuinely fell in love with. Not the words or what I thought you could be. Your actions and everything that makes you who you are- that is what I warmed up to.
Do I know if long distance will work for our 2018? God knows I’m willing to try. Funny thing is you first introduced yourself by saying we should get married, and secretly… I’ve been sure on you since week 1.