Where do I begin? in Beautiful Destruction

Ive always been a little ball of rage. Not on purpose, but it just seemed to be my aurora. I dont ever try to hurt anyone, and as far as i know i havent ever done any damage that couldnt be undone. I know right from wrong, and i know how to handle most situations. But as i grow, i realize that im no longer in control of my own thoughts. When i look in the mirror, i no longer see who i always invisioned myself to be. Instead i see a hollow shell. I see a girl that once was, thats slowly losing the light in her eyes. Whatever made her tick, has left and its damn near impossible to pinpoint when it happened. Happiness is forced, no longer a natural emotion. What do you do at that point? What do you do when you realize the destruction happenening right before your eyes?… Everyone around me makes me feel as though im just an angry person. Maybe i am....but either way im tired.....so very tired. Maybe writing will help. We will see. Bye for now.