Weekend Things in These Foolish Things

1. I blew off Bachelor Party Marty - again. I find myself blowing him off time and time again. I do this for many, many reasons. A few of them include: it’s clearly a fuck-buddy relationship which I have mixed feelings about; he makes it all about him - which I get, but it’s like it’s got to be convenient for HIM and never is my convenience considered; he’s boring AF - the most exciting thing about him is how incredibly handsome he is and his dick (and yes, I know that’s what this is all about, but I have a hard time getting aroused by a boring dude); I’m very uncomfortable with my body and have been for a couple of years now, though he doesn’t seem to care…to him, I’m this fantasy older woman cum receptacle…and that just leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth - pun intended.

2. Regarding the body thing, I tried out a new gym that opened up yesterday in the neighborhood. It’s one of those celebrity gyms that you see getting people like the Kardashians in shape. I have had a hard time getting myself back into a regular rhythm at a gym that has hours that work for me, etc. But I booked myself for the earliest class that they had on Saturday, and it turned out that it was the FIRST class in a brand spanking new gym! The Inaugural Workout! There was a bunch of excitement and fanfare before we (the scheduled class) walked into the workout room. It was one of those dark rooms with the music blasting - and it was packed. I gotta say, I understand how these gyms can whip people into shape…it was a HARD class, and the instructor actually pushed me much beyond a limit I’ve ever gone before in a bootcamp class - and I LIKED it! It was super hard, but it seemed really fun the way that the class was structured. I went home and immediately purchased a block of classes because the gym was having a holiday sale. Still, very expensive. Still worth it to me.

3. I am sore, sore, sore ALL OVER this morning! Wow. Hard to move around! Going to have to take the dog on a nice, mellow walk this morning.

4. I have had a pretty lonely weekend since blowing off Bachelor Party Marty, but it’s been okay. I’ve had a chance to wrap all of my Christmas gifts (took me ALL afternoon yesterday - good thing it turned into a rainy afternoon and evening), and do some laundry and organizing, etc. Maria was going to have people over last night but she canceled. This might have thrown me over the edge last weekend, but I was fine this weekend. I feel like that has everything to do with eating a bit better, exercising and taking my vitamins. Do I sound old? Or maybe just wise?

5. Today I’m having brunch with the guy that I met at the fundraiser last Sunday. He seems a little…complicated? I’m still wondering if he’s actually 43 like he told me, because I sensed a little insecurity in our texting recently. I also note that he’s terrible at making plans. This seems to be a HUGE issue with dating today - at least from the men I’m meeting. He kept trying to see me at the last minute over the last couple of days, and I told him that I wasn’t available until Sunday and suggested brunch. He said that would be great, but I didn’t hear from him after he kept pushing to see me Friday night after a dinner he’d had with friends. Like, he wanted to see me at 10pm after he was finished with all of his festivities, and I wanted to say, “DAMMIT, ask me on a fucking DATE…make a PLAN…and FOLLOW THROUGH! It’s not that hard!!” But I didn’t. Instead, I waited until this morning and sent a text asking if we were still on for brunch today. He said yes, but of course, we don’t have a plan!! I know it’s going to be up to me to tell him where we’re going to have brunch. Not that hard, but SHIT, dude. Can you put the bare minimum effort into this???

6. I need to get out more and meet more people. Surely there has to be a man with a plan out there???? One who’s not completely broken or insecure or longing for an ex.

7. The Bulldog and I talk occasionally, but DAMN, is that dude messed up. Do you remember he said that life for him was going to suck until 2018, when everything would get better (according to astrology)? Here’s the thing - clearly people don’t do immediate 180s, right? The calendar is not going to flip to 2018 and the guy is going to be better. He’s all kinds of neurotic and it’s crazy making. I don’t need this in my life - I never did! Still, he did help me out in a particular time in my life. I’m glad he was part of that time. But that’s just it - it’s the past and he should remain in my past.

8. I’m learning, you guys. It just takes some time. Someday I’ll be able to spot the people who will lift me up instead of bring me down and that’s when things will get really, really good.

9. On a related note, sometimes I can’t believe I’m 50 years old and still have so much to learn!

10. Gotta go take the dog on a walk. I’ll bundle us up and do the long walk with her so I can enjoy a nice, slow brunch this afternoon. Let’s hope it’s nice, anyway! :)

xox,
GS