Freaklets, the papal entry in Normal entries

I got the invite to beta test the new/old OD. Most everything from the old diary is intact. It’s pretty fucking weird. I have a soft spot in my heart for prosebox. My cardiologist says I should get it checked out. Here’s what I mean by weird;
from april 19, 2001, Ramblings from Oregon, OD
1. The Pope, Gods representative on earth, was told by his attorneys that it might be wise to have nuns sign a pre-nup.

1. They called him Johnny Mystery Spot seed. Not because he planted mystery spots all over the country. No, Johnny just planted billboards for Mystery Spots.

2. Her roadside attraction advertised “The worlds largest safe sex ball”. People who were far and wide came from all over hoping to see a ball of condoms. Turned out it was just a hippity-hop with a chastity belt.

3. The Popes attorneys advised him that he should trademark the term God before Intel names it’s next chip God and gets exclusive rights.

4. He had a roadside stand that sold only Tom Robbins Another Roadside Attraction. On the cover was a picture of a roadside stand selling Another Roadside Attraction. Eventually he had to get a day job.

5. They had to close down Six Flags over Beirut. When asked why no comment was given.

6. The Popes attorneys advised a don’t ask don’t tell policy regarding choirboys. On advice from counsel, Ramblings from Oregon apologizes but accepts no culpability.

7. Juan had a yakisoba stand in Death Valley. One day some tourists came and parked their RV next to it, set out some lawn chairs and spent the day watching him. The next day Juan charged admission but nobody ever came again.

8. He built a Mosque right outside of Las Vegas. Many people came, but they left when they realized that he was serious.

9. The Popes attorneys advised him against converting to Judaism. The pope wasn’t sure whether it was in the spirit of protecting the Catholic Church or the Jewish one.