It has been 24 hours since she stumbled upon my reality, my secrets. My return home yesterday evening was steeped in pain, crying and the slow sinking feeling of what I have really done.
I can't say I'm sorry enough
I never meant to hurt her, or anyone else.
I hated having to say goodbye to friends, by e-mail so cold and without emotion but it was at her insistence.
She has all my passwords to my e-mail, facebook, except my OD and here.
I can at least spill my thoughts here (hopefully) so I can make sense of what I've done. I don't know if I'll go to Vegas anytime soon or any other place by myself as such solo trips will be weighed with suspicion.
I don't blame her.
She saw my words and stabbed me with them, over and over.
I am immersed in my own pity, wishing with eyes clasped tightly that this will be over soon and I can renew my path forward.
I am seeking therapy as already I am deep in the hole emotionally. This only compounded what was already there.
I don't even know how sick I really am.
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