Sleepless night: Rambling, Random Thoughts in The Emergence of Anaissa

Sleep eludes me once again. I return from the 24-hour diner, having failed in my attempt to drown my loneliness through a random sexual encounter with an equally horny man or woman.

The pickings were slim—a couple of meth addicts, a doughnut-bloated state trooper, a cross-country sojourner wearing a “Make America Great Again” baseball cap (fuck him), and a way-too-cheerful group of Jesus freaks who were just a guitar short of breaking into a worship medley.

Goddamit! All I wanted to do was find a hard dick to suck or at the very least some soft lips to kiss. Instead I walked into the bar scene in the original Star Wars movie with all of the freaks and creatures present.

Not too long ago I resolved to embark on a journey of self-actualization. Born into a condition of gender disgust and dysphoria, I’ve spent nearly a half-century trying to liberate the feminine persona within me. Through a series of missteps and miscues, I have tried to sublimate, repress, and escape my sexual identity. Finally, I’ve made the firm decision to live out the rest of my life as the woman I was meant to be.

I have entered into gender counseling. I have confessed my desire to transition to my soon-to-be ex-wife. I have sought the support of two of my now-former best friends. I’ve joined a TS/TG support group whose members are nearly twice my junior.

Bottom line? I am terribly alone. At least for now. I can’t even fucking score a bathroom quickie!

Maybe I need to market myself better. It’s gotten me to thinking about those things that I’m really good at so that I might attract somebody....anybody. Here are 10 things that people should know about me:

1. I can roll the tightest joint imaginable.
2. I can drink without ever getting a hangover.
3. I can accessorize any outfit with flare.
4. My brain and my mouth are my sexiest organs.
5. I can walk effortlessly in 5-inch heels.
6. I can sense even the slightest bit of human suffering.
7. I make the best lasagna on earth.
8. I am a solitary witch.
9. I am related to a notorious crime family.
10. I like to have sex in sacred spaces.

Now clearly, I should never be lonely. Or alone.