First day of snow in Life without him

There’s snow out my window , it’s a really beautiful sight . I went out , slipped and my knee’s been hurting since !

I started cooking , played some French music … my mom came in and asked me if that was the music “S” liked . I screamed at her violently telling her it was none of her business.

I’ve been trying to feel better these days , training and going out dancing but all these terrible feelings arise . After the gym and around my parents , I feel irritated , agressive , violent almost .

I’ve lost the man I loved , the cat I loved , my home … everything , I just wanna scream and cry into a pillow .

I’m having trouble knowing what exactly happened between us. If I did the right thing in denouncing his behaviour towards me.

Am I completely crazy .