Last night was fairly acceptable. ALL the humans managed to go to bed rather early so I had the house to myself for a change. Well unless you count the dog, and I really never do all she does is eat, sleep and lay around. Don’t look at me like that, I’m completely different. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about how useless this dog is and yet how many rules she gets to break.
She gets tons of scraps from the table and I never get any. Nevermind I refuse to eat them it’s the fact they aren’t being offered, and hello it’s polite to offer. They are constantly tying her to this rope like thing and taking her out the front, letting her loose in the back and what happens when I try and escape this hole? I get a foot in the face that’s what.
I’ve taken to darting out so no one can stop me. That’s right, crawl on your bellies and try and pull me out from under the truck you insensitive humans! Sure I don’t really like it out here but I’d like to see you ignore my escape! Can the dog do that, absolutely not she’s way too clumsy! I finally found out what’s in the garage.... heaps of junk. Why is it they collect things is it to climb on, they never actually climb do they?
Kind of lazy if you ask me. This morning none of the humans left except the one that spoils the dog. Good Riddance! I mean sure he never really bothers me but who needs people like that in their life? Spoiling dogs what nonsense and do I get belly rubs? Certainly not, and he’s always so anal about me venturing into his room. Just what does HE think I’m going to do in there? Stupid dog is always loafing around on his bed making it a totally unacceptable place to lounge anyway.
When the humans did drag themselves out of bed they just sat there like zombies. Of course, the dog got let out and fed. Seriously does NO ONE notice the lack of attention I’m getting? I have decided to follow the food provider around all day and remind him his attention belongs to me. If that means he had to hold me and attempt to play his little games with one arm, then so help it.
Those noobs on the other end of his headset better figure out what they’re doing though because he shakes like an earthquake has hit the house every time they die. Apparently, humans are incapable of even playing their mundane pixel toys without other humans to help them, this is why we can’t have nice things.
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