I spent all night irritably demanding my humans attend to my needs. They have this seriously bad habit of sleeping when it gets dark that I will never understand. Don’t they realize the night time is where it’s at? All the good stuff happens at night, on second thought maybe it’s good everyone else is asleep they’d just ruin my good time.
Unfortunately one of the humans is sick, they can’t sleep and it’s cramping my style. How is one supposed to run all over the house breaking all the rules when the human is awake? I insisted she hold me the entire night as punishment. The bloody dog is such a rude beast, she dared take over my human’s legs as though we shared her or something. Have you ever heard of something so ridiculous?
Before you call me selfish I’ll have you know that dog has her own human, he’s old and he’s always spoiling and feeding her. Why can’t she just stay in his room all the time like he does? He’s perfectly happy to have her in there though for the life of me I don’t know why. He seems pretty sane other than that, he leaves me alone at least.
Today I napped off most my irritation. I had to remind one of the humans to feed me. Why is it humans insist on waking to loud screaming beeping noises then rush about shedding their fur and exchanging it for something else? They are always in such a hurry in the morning and I just knew he was going to forget to feed me. Then rude as you please he seemed irritated at my insistence. Can you believe it?
There I was politely reminded him of his duties while he sat there messing around with things for his lower paws and he just glared at me. Good riddance when he left! At least that’s what I thought but I rather favor that human and he’s always gone forever when he leaves. I pouted about our exchange for some time but the sickly human just doesn’t understand. She just lays there and pets me, doesn’t do a thing to make him come back and apologize.
When he finally got back home he was grumbling about something and totally ignored me! He went to go get wet in that small room the humans use for torture, why they pour water on themselves is beyond me! But it is sort of funny watching the dog be carried in from time to time. I say a lot of bad things about that dog, but she’s certainly entertaining from time to time.
I demanded his attention when he got out and he seemed to come around.
Apology accepted human, apology accepted.
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