Today I have been spending the day doing competitive research, so that means I’m out of the office and running all over town. I have stopped to get a cup of coffee and do some emails before I have to go pick up the dog from daycare and then head out to meet Athena and some others to hear famous photographer give a talk.
Was a super productive morning, and I happened to be close to an old friend’s neighborhood, so I texted M. early to see if she could go to lunch, and as luck would have it, she could!
I knew that she’d had stuff going on, but as we quickly caught up on the superficial stuff, she got down to the business of telling me about her pending divorce.
I can’t say I’m completely surprised, as her husband has been a raging alcoholic and drug abuser since day one and I’ve only watched him decline over the years, but it was so sad to hear how it’s gotten progressively worse - even after a 45-day stint in rehab (which followed several emergency room visits where they basically said he simply drinks too much)…in fact, ESPECIALLY after rehab! She said it had gotten so bad that he was falling-down, bloody-faced, shit-his-pants, piss-all-over-himself drunk at all times.
The straw that broke the camel’s back was the fact that her parents are also declining rapidly in health and mental capacity, so she had to spend several weeks this year traveling across the country and asked her two daughters to check in on her husband from time to time and they both found him in various states of injury, black-outs and worse.
She said that was the end. She started talking to lawyers and drawing up papers.
And THEN he didn’t come home one night (before she even told him she was divorcing him). She just knew he was in jail.
He was.
He’d gone out and drunkenly wrecked his car - apparently someone else was involved and injured - and M. refused to post bail for him. He’s been in jail for over 70 days! OMG.
UGHHH. I feel so awful for her! What a nightmare this is.
And THAT was lunch. Sorry, I just had to write this out because it blew my mind and made me sad for the situation and proud of her for finally changing the situation (she’s been “taking care” of him for years and years - nearly as long as I’ve known them - 15ish years or so).
Anyway, rest of the day was less successful, probably because I was kind of reeling from the story.
I just texted back and forth with SMcQ - prompted by me. I’m not going to prompt him anymore. I’m going to leave this shit alone until he initiates and asks me out and MAKES A FUCKING PLAN.
There. You have it in writing.
Oops. I just remembered there was one other place I wanted to go before I called it a workday, so I gotta run!
xox,
GS
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